Courtesy of Warner Bros.

PUNCHES AT THE "PATRIOT PRAYER"—"Right-wing marchers and left-wing protesters had a dumb clash on the waterfront Sunday afternoon, with pepper spray and punches flying," reports the Mercury's Doug Brown. "A handful of people got bloodied up. Nearly everybody got called a Nazi."

SHADOW CAMPAIGNS—Vice President Mike Pence says a New York Times story that claims he and other Republicans are planning "shadow campaigns" for the 2020 election is "disgraceful and offensive." So if, after the 2016 election, you were wondering how much time you'd get until you started having to hear about the 2020 election: You had about eight months. They are over now.

FIRE SEASON—Numerous wildfires throughout Oregon are "forcing some evacuations, putting others on notice and closing trails in wilderness areas."

GUNSLINGER BLUES—The Dark Tower technically "won" the box office over the weekend, but that might've been because nobody really went to the movies. Kathryn Bigelow's Detroit more or less bombed, while my dad's favorite movie, Dunkirk, is still going strong.

HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE—Expect temperatures in the 90s throughout the week, an air quality alert until Tuesday night, and a 70 percent chance of violent raiding parties led by Immortan Joe and his fanatical army of War Boys.