Good morning, Portland.

The Stewart apartments occupy the top two floors of this 1921 building at the corner of Southwest Broadway and Ankeny
The Stewart apartments occupy the top two floors of this 1921 building at the corner of Southwest Broadway and Ankeny Patrick Alexander

The 66 residents of the affordable but dingy Stewart Apartments downtown may soon be evicted after the building's manager died, Dirk VanderHart reports.

"A retired Portland Bureau of Transportation employee who used his last day of work to troll athletic apparel giant Under Armour has paid up for his high jinks," we reported yesterday. "Kirk Kennedy recently sent the City of Portland $266.16 in connection with a rogue Nike 'swoosh' he installed in thermoplastic on July 28 outside of Under Armour's new Southwest Portland outpost, according to PBOT spokesperson John Brady."

Former Portland Police Chief Larry O'Dea is a big fat liar.

Voter fraud hits home: "It has come to the Mercury's attention that someone has been stuffing the ballot box in the most recent round of our Cutest Pet Photo Contest. That's right: Louie, the dog who looks like David Lynch, received a suspicious number of votes from the same IP address."

Nike co-founder Phil Knight just gave $500,000 to Republican governor candidate Knute Buehler, his largest donation yet to an Oregon campaign.

It's going to be a fucking mess in Oregon over the next week: "Traffic slowed to a crawl and gas stations were inundated with vehicles in Central Oregon Wednesday as the first wave of eclipse watchers descended on rural highways for a music festival near Prineville."

"At a time when many agencies in Oregon are moving toward greater transparency, Multnomah County District Attorney Rod Underhill and Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler have paved the way for more secrecy in the hiring of local officials — arguing that Portlanders shouldn't have the opportunity to vet finalists who don't want to be disclosed publicly," the Portland Tribune reports. "With Underhill's backing, Wheeler didn't reveal that Danielle Outlaw of Oakland had been a finalist for the Portland police chief's job until Aug. 7 — when he announced she was the mayor's pick to replace Mike Marshman as top cop."

KATU: "Confederate war veterans migrated to Oregon by the hundreds following their loss in the Civil War. They followed the Oregon Trail west, landing in Oregon City and Salem. Many of them are buried in local cemeteries in the region."

Remember when Donald Trump says he surrounds himself with only the best people?

And, finally, something less painful than the Trump presidency: