GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! You can scratch my back, we'll get cozy and huddle. I'll lay down my jacket so you can walk over a puddle. LET'S GO TO PRESS.
Let's kick off the day with some good local news: Our beloved Portland Thorns took down the North Carolina Courage this weekend 1-0 to win the NWSL Championship, and we couldn't be more proud. Check out the hilarious and heartfelt recap from our Thorns correspondent Erin O'Regan who was in Orlando for their victory.
That feeling. pic.twitter.com/OZobwX1Rnw
— Lindsey Horan (@Lindseyhoran11) October 15, 2017
Because guns keep us safer: A Kelso 13-year-old accidentally shot and killed his friend while playing with a firearm.
North Korea's cyberattack program, which was once pretty embarrassing, is now less embarrassing and more scary.
Attorney General Jeff Sessions, not known for being exactly friendly to the LGBTQ community, has sent a federal hate crimes lawyer to Iowa to help prosecute a man who murdered a transgender student last year. Remain suspicious.
This report from the Washington Post shows how many of Trump's aides spend their time and our tax dollars—trying to trick the president into not making grievous mistakes.
Trump's attempts at undermining Congress is working, as prominent GOP donors are blaming them for their inability to forward their legislative agenda.
Lawyers for a woman who has accused President Trump of sexual assault has subpoenaed his campaign for any documents on her or the subject.
Rotting pineapple and former Trump lackey Steve Bannon promises to wage war against the GOP establishment—which could help the Dems recapture the House in 2018. So you do you, rotting pineapple.
Hillary Clinton rips Wikileaks' Julian Assange a new one, calling him a "tool for Russian intelligence."
Director Woody Allen shared his two cents about the Harvey Weinstein sexual harassment revelations, and then had to furiously backpedal after fucking it up.
Now let's look at the WEATHER: A very nice day with a high of 68! (But showers are just around the corner.)
And finally, let's enjoy the brilliant Kate McKinnon as Kellyanne Conway (this time as Pennywise, which is just too perfect).