Schulenburgs legendary Texas Polka Music Museum
Schulenburg's legendary Texas Polka Music Museum. Billy Hathorn/Wikimedia Commons

Back when I was tour-managing bands and artists, a trip to Austin meant a quick side excursion to the hamlet of Schulenburg, Texas. The German-centric town is home to 3,000 residents, the Texas Polka Music Museum, and the finest Czech-style pastries known to humanity. (Stoned tour buses of musicians know of such things better than most.)

But beginning this December, Schulenberg will also be home to something I only thought I would see alongside flying pigs—a Texas-based cannabis dispensary. And if anyone needs a dispensary, it's the good people of Texas.

But, as one can legitimately say there, hold your horses.

To begin with, this won't be a storefront dispensary, but rather a combination grow site and HQ for a statewide delivery service that deals solely in CBD oil. The owners of Knox Medical got their state license this summer, and per the 2015 Texas Compassionate Care Act, they'll be allowed to produce a very specific type of oil that's high in CBD and low in THC. The oil will be available exclusively to epilepsy patients—which is a fine start but falls far short of serving a vastly wider range of people who could benefit greatly from it, such as patients suffering from fibromyalgia, PTSD, Crohn's Disease, and many others.

Knox Medical's tincture cannot contain more than 0.5 percent THC. As CBD is an "entourage cannabinoid" (or "ensemble cannabinoid," if the word entourage reminds you of the douchefest TV series), it works best when introduced into the body with a higher amount of THC. So this is, by most industry assessments, a half measure that embodies the phrase "better than nothing."

Qualifying to receive the oil isn't exactly patient-friendly either. Two doctors must agree the patient will benefit from it, so thank god we have a robust single-payer health care system that makes seeing two separate doctors low to no cost. Oh, wait...

The doctors and patient must then register with the Department of Public Safety, because nothing says "grave threat to public safety" like a four-ounce bottle of tincture. Texas patients will most likely not be able to place their orders until after the first of the year, due to a slow licensing process by the state.

Maybe Knox will send out a free pastry with each order.