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I've been feeling really shitty about a date I went on a few days ago and I was hoping to hear your thoughts. The date started out well—lots of chemistry, lots of flirting, lots of kissing. We went back to his place and it was all going great until I put my hand down the front of his pants and felt almost nothing. His penis was maybe just over an inch long, hard. I didn't really know what to do with it, he seemed unsure of how to deal with it and it threw me a bit. I went soft and we fell asleep.

I think my question is: Am I a dick for not wanting to see him again? Up until we got naked I was having a great time and would definitely have wanted to see him again. We've been lightly texting since and the date went so well I'm sure he'll know it's because of what happened in the bedroom that I don't want to see him again. But I'm not just attracted to men; I'm attracted to cocks. I also feel like if he'd said something along the lines of, "Look I know it's small, but if you do this it'll feel good," I could have worked with it. But should he really have to do that? I'd hate to have to explain about my body every time I have sex.

Man Is Concerned Regarding Organ

First, a quick email exchange:

Are you generally a top? Bottom? Vers? — Dan

Generally top. — MICRO

So do you think you could be with him if the relationship was open and you guys sometimes incorporated toys when it’s just you two? I had a boyfriend with a very small cock a long time ago and the sex was great. — Dan

I don't know if I could get over it. He was so self-conscious about it that it made the situation awkward and I've been feeling weird about it since. I agree, sex can be great with a small cock but this one is extreme. It's almost all head. — MICRO

A micropenis doesn't have to be a dealbreaker, MICRO, but I won't shame you for your preferences (even though you're kindasorta shaming this dude for his dick). Sex with guys who have small (even micro) dicks can be just as hot/dull/kinky/awful/freaky/fun as sex with guys who have average-to-large-to-impractical big dicks... unless your thing is big dicks and your need for a great big dick (or a great average dick) trumps all other kinds of fuckery. While I was initially tempted to suggest you give this guy another shot, MICRO, based on the quality of the chemistry, flirting, and kissing, my second reading convinced me otherwise. You're not into this dude, you're not into his dick, you're unlikely to make him comfortable enough to say, "Look I know it's small, but if you do this it'll feel good." But the next time you have a really good date and later discover their junk isn't your ideal junk... try to remember that dicks are only a small part of the overall package.

And to guys out there with small dicks...

If I may paraphrase Lin-Manuel Miranda: your dick is your dick is your dick. Love your cock and don't let anyone shame you for it. And could the rest of us please stop with the small dick jokes about open-carry assholes and Trump supporters and other varieties of annoying/insecure jagoffs? Yes, insecurities about dick size or other feelings of inadequacy can lead to overcompensation that tips into assholery. But if we want to see less of overcompensating and less assholery in the world—less gun fondling, less Trump supporting, less jagoffing—we shouldn't heap shame on guys with below-average dicks.

That said, small-dicked men, part of loving your small cock is not expecting your partner to pretend your cock is bigger than it is or that there aren't, in the case of a micro-penis, certain things you won't be able to do with your cock, i.e. certain feelings, experiences, sensations, etc., that you won't be able to provide. A willingness to incorporate toys—up to and including a strap-ons—signals that you're secure with what you've got and willing to make sure your partner gets everything they need.

Listen to my podcast, the Savage Lovecast, at www.savagelovecast.com.

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