The Deadline for HUMP! Submissions Is One Month Away!


The deadline for submitting films for the 13th Annual HUMP! Film Festival—the Pacific Northwest's biggest, best, and only short porn film festival—is coming up! Here's our call for submissions...

HUMP! invites filmmakers, porn-star wannabes, hotties, kinksters, regular folks, YOU, and other creative types to make short porn films—five minutes max—for HUMP! 2017! HUMP! films can be hardcore, softcore, live action, animated, kinky, vanilla, straight, gay, lez, bi, trans, genderqueer—anything goes at HUMP! (Well, almost anything: No poop, no animals, no minors.) HUMP! films are not released online or in any other form. Filmmakers retain all rights. Appearing in a film for HUMP! means you get to be a porn star in a movie theatre for a weekend—not on the internet forever!

We got a wonderful note this week from one of the teams who made a film for last year's HUMP! Film Festival. After the festival kicks off in Seattle and Portland, HUMP! hits the road. The HUMP! 2016 Tour has visited 21 cities so far and will visit 13 more cities before the tour ends. Unlike most short film festivals, people who make films for HUMP! get a percentage of every ticket sold during the tour—and with the tour only 2/3 over, the filmmakers who wrote in this week had already made back all the money they'd spent on their film.

There's also no charge to enter HUMP! and cash prizes are awarded to filmmakers by audience ballot after the festival concludes in Seattle and Portland! There's still time to get started on your film for HUMP! 2017! Details below...

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Savage Love Letter of the Day: Cis Woman Mistaken For Trans


I'm a 42 year-old guy, and I'm married to an amazing woman. We've been together five years and we're as happy and hot for each other as we were when we started dating. We're good. My problem is with a small percentage of other people who are pieces of shit, and how best to deal with them.

My wife is gorgeous—in a way that some walking garbage piles find offensive. She's six-foot-two, and has the same strong-featured exotic look that afforded two of her aunts successful modeling careers. And like her aunts, she regularly encounters assholes who assume that she is transgender and they HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT THAT. I never felt any embarrassment about it; from the beginning I was just too head-over-heels to care what anyone thought. Getting to know her L and G and T friends helped wash off any remaining conservative southern upbringing still clinging to me, and I realized that I wouldn't love her any less if she did have a Y chromosome. I like to think that 37 year-old me wouldn't have cared either—I can't imagine being without this incredible person in my life.

When I've witnessed scumbags harass her on the street, or overheard them talking shit about her, the rage I feel is almost uncontrollable. Fortunately she's always been able to chill me out. "I'm used to it," she'll say, "just ignore them." But she's confessed that it hurts, for the same reason that it enrages me—the sick fucks who are saying these things are trying to hurt and diminish her because of how she looks. And that brings us to my question.

How do I respond?

Obviously just returning the verbal assault or outright violence is no solution. I don't want to encourage the idea that there is something shameful about being trans. Yelling. "She's a real woman, asshole!" is not the message I want to send, but to just let it go seems wrong. I worry about my wife, about our LGBQT friends, and everyone in this country who's abused for who they are. I worry that someday someone will try to harm my wife because of how she looks and that I won't be there to help. I worry that our "president" is making bigots and talking shit-stains feel as though they can do anything they want. And I feel guilty that I didn't really see this problem until it affected people I love. How do I react so that it helps, even in just a small way, to move our society away from bigotry and hate?

Punching Assholes Not The Solution?

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As a longtime fan of cheap, store-bought sheet cakes (preferably stale), I have to say: Tiny Fey is a motherfucking genius. As is whoever did this...

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Savage Love Letter of the Day: Tiki Torches Aren't Just For Haters


One of the better retorts to the white supremacists in Charlottesville would be to hold a march with rainbow Tiki Torches. That will put an end to Nazi nonsense. Don't mean to be flippant, but a little panache is called for. Just saying.

Shaming Haters And Fascists To Intimidate Nazi Gangsters

If rainbow Tiki torches could put an end to Nazi nonsense, SHAFTING, I could get behind your idea. But defeating Naziism and white supremacism and Trumpism won't be that simple—and the last thing we need right now, frankly, is another mob marching around carrying torches. Mobs with torches are a bad look whether you're talking front pages of newspapers, old newsreels, or Disney movies. And while rainbows are lovely, they don't have the power to transform a hateful symbol or look into something loving. I mean... look at this shit.

Okay! That was grim! Kinder, gentler bonus question after the jump...

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Maddow on White Supremacist Violence: "A Persistent Infection in White American Culture"

Rachel Maddow opened last night with a timely reminder: white supremacist and neo-Nazi violence is nothing new. Demonstrations, robberies, assassinations, hostage-takings, and efforts by racist rightwing extremists to start a race war—nothing new.

"It always seems amazing every time it surfaces, but we have always had it," Maddow said of American white supremacism and neo-Nazism. "And overtime they go through various ridiculous and self-important names and iterations and patterns of symbolic behavior. But overtime it's all the same basic idea, and at it's core it's aways violent. It's the Order, it's the Klan, it's Aryan Nations, it's the Christian Identity Movement, now they want to be called the alt-right—okay, whatever. Their ideas are not new, their violence is not new."

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Savage Love Letter of the Day: Fucking Nazis


I'm a woman in her early 30s having sex with a guy in his early 20s. The sex is more than casual as we really care about each other but ultimately have no interest in pursuing a serious relationship.

My concern is that this guy has some alt-right sympathies that reveal themselves in our political discussions, which take place fairly often. He's a Trump guy, but hesitates to admit it because he knows I'm very much anti-Trump. He posts memes created by Mike Cernovich and Milo Yiannopolous on his Facebook and gets his news from hard right publications. He also has a sister and brother-in-law who happen to be Holocaust deniers. This all concerns and confuses me because he's such a sweet guy and honestly, so goddamn good in bed. He's the definitive GGG, really attentive and caring and experimental. He might be the best lay I've ever had.

I can't reconcile these two sides of him, but I also can't help trying to enlighten him a little bit. One of his best features is his open-mindedness. He's read books and watched documentaries I've recommended and he's always willing to talk about anything with curiosity and respect. I feel a responsibility to this young, confused, and frankly not-too-bright person who's surrounded by bad influences, but I know it's never smart to attempt to change someone. I want to be understanding and gently guide him in a better direction, but sometimes his ignorance is aggravating. I can also sense that he's beginning to feel a little judged and even threatened by me, which can only make things worse.

I keep thinking of your campsite rule and wonder at one point does one give up throwing logic and articles at someone who thought Hilary Clinton ran a child sex ring out of a pizza parlor? Can I continue to have sex with someone who thinks the left are conspiring to turn everyone communist?

I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

Conflicted Lover

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Required Viewing: The Opening of Last Night's Rachel Maddow Show

Rachel Maddow might make you feel a little better about the news...

But everything else going on this morning is going to make you feel worse...

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Savage Love Letter of the Day: Is Her Ex-Boyfriend Biphobic? (Her Ex-Boyfriend Would Like To Know)


I’m a straight male. My ex is bi. She has a lot of shame about her sexuality. She said I was the only person she ever felt safe enough with to discuss it. She won't even talk to her therapist about it. She only recently admitted to herself that she’s bi and has never had a relationship with a woman.

There was a period when she really struggled with the shame. Since I was the only one she felt comfortable talking to about it with, it became a common topic of discussion. I asked if she thought she could find an LGBTQ support group, but she said no. I was happy to listen to her, but I knew that I could never understand what she was processing. One night, I asked if she felt that being in a relationship was stifling her ability to process her coming out. I know it’s possible for a bi person to be open, shame-free and to have only had heterosexual encounters. Given that we were monogamous and moving quickly I wanted to see if she felt this was best for her. She said the relationship wasn’t stifling her but wondered if I felt that way since she had been talking about it more. She said she would feel the same way.

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Savage Love Letter of the Day: Anxiety Attacks at the Trio Rodeo


My boyfriend of eight months, K, and I are polyamorous. We started the relationship on that foot, and for a while I was the partner he spent the most time with. There have been ups and downs, but overall our relationship is solid and loving. However, recently we both started dating the same woman, L, and they have been spending more time together than with me due to my work schedule.

They both reassure me that they love me and care for me deeply, but I am an anxiously-attached person and sometimes I have panic attacks when they spend more time with others/themselves and fear that they're going to leave me. I'm working on becoming more secure via books on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and I'm looking into in-person therapy. This is my first serious relationship ever, but not his (I'm 22, he's 35) and while K's been super patient with me, my worry and grasping is a point of friction in the relationship. K has told me he doesn't want to be solely responsible for my sexual satisfaction and my need for constant reassurances that he cares.

The anxiety has been flaring up most strongly concerning sex—we're all switches, and both K and L are professional Dominants. I feel neglected if K doesn't penetrate me, but he penetrates L, or if L gets to penetrate K via a strap-on and I don't. He's very good about voicing what he desires, while I'm learning to speak-up despite feeling like I'm just being needy and grasping again.

I love both my partners, but I've been feeling sexually neglected and with a HIGH sex drive, it's been quite painful. This is my first "trio rodeo" and I really want to make it work—I've seen a future with K for a while (the I-want-your-children kind), and L is joining those future visions too. How can I find a way to create more opportunities for sexy-time and not ruining it with anxiety attacks?

BDSM Enthusiastic Lover On Voyage4 Emotional Durability

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Savage Love Letter of the Day: Catfishing at Sea


I have a question about something I haven't seen you address. I have a friend (no, really) who uses a dating site, and ended up corresponding with a guy who claimed that he was a former marine now working on a cargo ship currently in the Indian Ocean. They emailed back and forth for a week or so before he sent her an email saying the ship had mechanical problems, and was heading to a nearby island near Somalia. The story quickly became ludicrous when he claimed that Somalian pirates were nearby. Before the ship left the island, he said he wanted to mail her a small trunk for her to keep secure with his cash and valuables because he thought it was now likely they would get overtaken by pirates. He asked for her address, but no money, in order to send her the trunk. She realized this story didn't make any sense, and she quickly cut off correspondence.

However, we are both curious, what was the point of this scam? He hadn't asked her for money; he just wanted her address. Was he merely trying for identity theft? This seems too elaborate. If the trunk even existed, would it be carrying contraband he was trying to slip through customs? If it didn't, would he have claimed she would have stolen it, and demanded the money that supposedly was in it? Could the point be to find the address of a single woman living alone in order to rob her or worse? Something else? Normally scams are pretty easy to figure out, but we're scratching our heads over this one. I couldn't find a description of this sort of scam on the internet. There are a bunch of trunk scams, but all the variants I read about involved the person sending money for the trunk.

I've always known to be careful meeting people on a dating site, but it hadn't occurred to me that there might be scams to watch out for even before the first meeting. (BTW, this dating site encourages people to email each other a lot before meeting, so it would seem to be ideal for these scammers.) Have you ever heard of anything like this? Do you have any idea what the payoff was supposed to be?

Somali Could've Abducted Marine

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James Cordon Has a Song In His Heart for LGBT Troops

Corden's team pulled this charming number together in a single day. Nice job!

The Pentagon Thought Trump Was Announcing a Military Strike On North Korea


This detail in Buzzfeed's report is straight-up terrifying:

President Trump tweeted on Wednesday that transgender people cannot "serve in any capacity in the U.S. Military," repeating a claim from conservative Republicans that transgender service members disrupt the ranks and add medical costs that undermine troop readiness. The abrupt announcement seemed to stun military leaders, even though Trump said in a series of tweets that he consulted with "my generals and military experts."


At the Pentagon, the first of the three tweets raised fears that the president was getting ready to announce strikes on North Korea or some other military action. Many said they were left in suspense for nine minutes, the time between the first and second tweet. Only after the second tweet did military officials receive the news the president was announcing a personnel change on Twitter.

So the generals Trump claims to consult don't know from one minute to the next—from one tweet to the next—just who or what Trump is launching an attack against. Jesus.

Some Things to Bear In Mind About Trump's Trans Military Ban

Here are Trump's asshole tweets from earlier this morning:

First, about those tremendous medical costs:

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Savage Love Letter of the Day: Dating with Busty Baggage


I'm newly on the dating scene and I'm trying to understand the mind of a guy with an extreme fetish since that's what I am. I have natural size 38T boobs and the rest of my body is relatively regular looking (google Milena Velba for a visual). I completely bungled my first attempt at dating someone ridiculously into my particular body type, although I suspect the issue was more on his end since he kept talking about how I was his dream girl, I'm so rare, blah blah blah, and now he's engaged to a woman with fake size B boobs (and keeps bothering me every once in a while, because, well, people are complicated and sexuality is confusing).

My first husband really loved me for who I am on the inside, which was definitely awesome, but he didn't have a thing for big boobs, which became kind of a bummer. For husband #2 I would like to try to find someone who loves me for who I am on the inside and is really attracted to me. But I think I'm struggling with novelty fuck syndrome—guys who want to fuck an extreme fetish once (yay! I reached the top of Mount Everest!) but don't want to be with me long term (ugh! no one wants to climb Mount Everest every damn day!). Is this something that I'm just missing about the psychology behind fetishes?

TLDR: I'm a pretty cool girl with mega boobs and I'd like to figure out how to have a healthy relationship with someone who likes mega boobs. Maybe there's a book that you can recommend?

Boobs Impress Guys

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Something To Read While the Senate Votes On Repealing Obamacare and Killing Tens of Thousands of Americans Annually

This Frank Rich piece in New York Magazine back in March is worth a second reading...

There’s no way liberals can counter these voters’ blind faith in a huckster who’s sold them this snake oil. The notion that they can be won over by some sort of new New Deal — “domestic programs that would benefit everyone (like national health insurance),” as Mark Lilla puts it — is wishful thinking. These voters are so adamantly opposed to government programs that in some cases they refuse to accept the fact that aid they already receive comes from Washington — witness the “Keep Government Out of My Medicare!” placards at the early tea-party protests.

Perhaps it’s a smarter idea to just let the GOP own these intractable voters. Liberals looking for a way to empathize with conservatives should endorse the core conservative belief in the importance of personal responsibility. Let Trump’s white working-class base take responsibility for its own votes — or in some cases failure to vote — and live with the election’s consequences. If, as polls tell us, many voters who vilify Obamacare haven’t yet figured out that it’s another name for the Affordable Care Act that’s benefiting them — or if they do know and still want the Trump alternative — then let them reap the consequences for voting against their own interests. That they will sabotage other needy Americans along with them is unavoidable in any case now — at least until voters stage an intervention in an election to come.

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