THURSDAY 9/14

Jan Baross
Baross reads from her new novel, Jose Builds a Woman—a tale steeped in magical realism about an octopus diver and her son. My favorite sentence from the press release: "Forced to leave with a brutal stranger, she spends her wedding night making love on his swaying camel." Annie Bloom's Books, 7834 SW Capitol Hwy, 246-0053, 7:30 pm, free

FRIDAY 9/15

The Portland Funbook
The Portland Funbook is a brand new coloring/activity book with art from some of Portland's best, including E*Rock, Guy Burwell, and Patrick Long. The Funbook is limited to a run of 4,000 copies, but it's totally FREE, and there's going to be this awesome party with enormous pictures to be colored and bands like Drats!!! and Damn These Monkey Hands. The cover charge goes to the Genocide Intervention Fund in Sudan, so your heart can feel that much lighter when you're coloring in that drawing of Godzilla skateboarding over the Hawthorne Bridge. Acme, 1305 SE 8th, 230-9020, 10 pm, $5

SATURDAY 9/16

Static: Government Liars, Media Cheer­leaders, and the People Who Fight Back
You know the "popular international TV and radio news show Democracy Now!"? Yeah, me neither. But I can imagine. Host Amy Goodman and her brother David have written Static, a book about George Bush's lies, the mainstream media's failure to report said lies, and corporate America's ridiculous profiteering off the whole racket. Bagdad Theater, 3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 777-FILM, noon, free

TUESDAY 9/19

Mark Danielewski
Danielewski, one of the country's greatest experimental postmodern writers, returns with Only Revolutions, the story of two boys on a road trip—from the Civil War to the year 2063. Each page of the book gets exactly 180 words, but the type gets smaller every time you turn the page, and a timeline of historical events runs throughout the book. Entertainment Weekly gave it a "D," but what do they know? They have Desperate Housewives on the cover, for chrissake. Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 228-4651, 7:30 pm, free

The Zero
A darkly comic post-9/11 novel in the vein of Joseph Heller, The Zero follows protagonist Brian Remy, who doesn't remember shooting himself in the hand, has a son who refuses to acknowledge his existence, and whose old partner on the police force was just pictured on a box of First Responder cereal. The date? September 16, 2001. Powell's in Beaverton, 8725 SW Cascade, 643-3131, 7 pm, free

WEDNESDAY 9/20

Artificial Light
James Greer's (briefly of Guided by Voices) Artificial Light comes to us from Dennis Cooper's "Little House on the Bowery" imprint. Set in the mid-'90s, the novel's about the suicide of a famous rock star, posthumous journals, celebrity, murder, and Dayton, Ohio. The press release says "Artificial may be the first American novel to successfully treat the alternative rock scene of the 1990s as a subject for serious literature." Then it informs us that James Greer has written for Larry the Cable Guy. I'm not even kidding. Reading Frenzy, 921 SW Oak, 274-1449, 7 pm, free