Do you like cookies?
“Well,” you answer coyly, “I’m trying to be ‘good’ this month and avoid gluten, and plus, I restarted my vegan diet yet again, but I love butter so much, oh I’m so bad tee hee....”
Well, golly, that’s swell and all, and, you know, gluten-free kudos to you. But since you didn’t answer my question, I will do so for you: Yes, you do like cookies. And don’t lie to me, because you are better than that, and no one likes a liar, what with their flaming trousers and all.
Me? I love cookies. I care fuck-all if it has butter, sugar, wheat, or freeze-dried kittens in it. (Cannabis Kitten Cookies are not actually a thing to the best of my knowledge. Yet.) There’s a reason I am known as “Cookie Monster” in some circles. Or, simply, “That Monster.”
Let’s look at two Portland companies that are making terrific cannabis-infused cookies or cookie-like treats. Both come... highly recommended. I know! Ha! Good for me.
SHE DON’T KNOW
About that name: She Don’t Know owner and CEO Jill Trinchero says, “It seems like everyone has the answers, but who really knows?” Trinchero started SDK in 2015, foregoing gluten, preservatives, corn syrup, or dyes, and infusing her offerings with “the clear,” a super-clean THC distillate made using ethanol.
Their products are micro-dosed at 5 milligrams of THC per cookie, which Trinchero says is an amount most anyone can handle. They’re made that way because, as she puts it, “Who eats half a cookie? People don’t eat half a cookie.” She readily admits to being a cannabis edible lightweight, and wanted to offer an option to others who may share her tolerance and dietary choices.
SDK cookies are manufactured in a dedicated gluten-free kitchen with vegan options, but wait, come back, because they are really good, and that comes without a qualifier. I could eat these by the handful, which I haven’t done because I’m not a stoned bear with poor impulse control.
Doing the Whole30, paleo, or Eat-Clean diet plan? First, don’t tell me about it, because I don’t care—no one does or ever will—then grab your dietary pious self a Tokeless B. Coconut, a raw, gluten-free, vegan, no-sugar-added bite of goodness made with organic dates, almonds, coconut, and sour cherries. The Chocolate Chip Cannabis Cookie is also gluten-free, and just as tasty. This month SDK added a savory offering with C’est La Herb, a gluten-free crisp, buttery cracker with Herbes De Provence and Maldon flake sea salt.
Let’s start with the slogan on their T-shirt: “My balls. Your mouth.”
No, it’s not “What Are ‘Things Trump Has Said to Women,’ Alex?” and I’m sorry that your mind went directly there.
The balls in question are 15-milligram, THC-infused cake balls in numerous flavors, one of two product lines made by Elbe’s. They also make variously flavored snickerdoodle cookies, each containing 25 milligrams of THC—one is a lemon version, and on their website, they delve into why: “Lemon contains a terpene called Limone which is a hydrocarbon that has the ability to cross the blood brain barrier and interact with the brain.” They also go a bit into the differences between Delta-9 and Delta-11 THC, so you can get informed while you get high. The more you know....
Elbe’s started toiling in the cookie mines back in 2010, using a whole-cannabis-bud butter infusion. They are one of the few companies I have found in the recreational cannabis market still using full butter, which is the way I came up enjoying my edibles. All the love to my vegan friends, but there are times I want canna-infused butter. This is one of those times.
The taste of Elbe’s Orange Creamsicle Cake Balls bears an uncanny resemblance to its namesake frozen treat, and they’re all too tempting to have on hand in any great quantity. A clever cutting-and-portioning guide is included in each package to help you determine your proper dose, making them easy to share.
They recently dropped a Gingersnap Snickerdoodle with a one-to-one ratio of CBD and THC, containing 25 milligrams of each. After gobbling one, the result was a balanced, mellow high, with the THC nicely complemented by the CBD.