Do you like cookies?

ā€œWell,ā€ you answer coyly, ā€œIā€™m trying to be ā€˜goodā€™ this month and avoid gluten, and plus, I restarted my vegan diet yet again, but I love butter so much, oh Iā€™m so bad tee hee....ā€

Well, golly, thatā€™s swell and all, and, you know, gluten-free kudos to you. But since you didnā€™t answer my question, I will do so for you: Yes, you do like cookies. And donā€™t lie to me, because you are better than that, and no one likes a liar, what with their flaming trousers and all.

Me? I love cookies. I care fuck-all if it has butter, sugar, wheat, or freeze-dried kittens in it. (Cannabis Kitten Cookies are not actually a thing to the best of my knowledge. Yet.) Thereā€™s a reason I am known as ā€œCookie Monsterā€ in some circles. Or, simply, ā€œThat Monster.ā€

Letā€™s look at two Portland companies that are making terrific cannabis-infused cookies or cookie-like treats. Both come... highly recommended. I know! Ha! Good for me.


She Don't Know

SHE DONā€™T KNOW

sdksnacks.com

About that name: She Donā€™t Know owner and CEO Jill Trinchero says, ā€œIt seems like everyone has the answers, but who really knows?ā€ Trinchero started SDK in 2015, foregoing gluten, preservatives, corn syrup, or dyes, and infusing her offerings with ā€œthe clear,ā€ a super-clean THC distillate made using ethanol.

Their products are micro-dosed at 5 milligrams of THC per cookie, which Trinchero says is an amount most anyone can handle. Theyā€™re made that way because, as she puts it, ā€œWho eats half a cookie? People donā€™t eat half a cookie.ā€ She readily admits to being a cannabis edible lightweight, and wanted to offer an option to others who may share her tolerance and dietary choices.

SDK cookies are manufactured in a dedicated gluten-free kitchen with vegan options, but wait, come back, because they are really good, and that comes without a qualifier. I could eat these by the handful, which I havenā€™t done because Iā€™m not a stoned bear with poor impulse control.

Doing the Whole30, paleo, or Eat-Clean diet plan? First, donā€™t tell me about it, because I donā€™t careā€”no one does or ever willā€”then grab your dietary pious self a Tokeless B. Coconut, a raw, gluten-free, vegan, no-sugar-added bite of goodness made with organic dates, almonds, coconut, and sour cherries. The Chocolate Chip Cannabis Cookie is also gluten-free, and just as tasty. This month SDK added a savory offering with Cā€™est La Herb, a gluten-free crisp, buttery cracker with Herbes De Provence and Maldon flake sea salt.


ELBEā€™S EDIBLES

elbesedibles.com

Letā€™s start with the slogan on their T-shirt: ā€œMy balls. Your mouth.ā€

No, itā€™s not ā€œWhat Are ā€˜Things Trump Has Said to Women,ā€™ Alex?ā€ and Iā€™m sorry that your mind went directly there.

The balls in question are 15-milligram, THC-infused cake balls in numerous flavors, one of two product lines made by Elbeā€™s. They also make variously flavored snickerdoodle cookies, each containing 25 milligrams of THCā€”one is a lemon version, and on their website, they delve into why: ā€œLemon contains a terpene called Limone which is a hydrocarbon that has the ability to cross the blood brain barrier and interact with the brain.ā€ They also go a bit into the differences between Delta-9 and Delta-11 THC, so you can get informed while you get high. The more you know....

Elbeā€™s started toiling in the cookie mines back in 2010, using a whole-cannabis-bud butter infusion. They are one of the few companies I have found in the recreational cannabis market still using full butter, which is the way I came up enjoying my edibles. All the love to my vegan friends, but there are times I want canna-infused butter. This is one of those times.

The taste of Elbeā€™s Orange Creamsicle Cake Balls bears an uncanny resemblance to its namesake frozen treat, and theyā€™re all too tempting to have on hand in any great quantity. A clever cutting-and-portioning guide is included in each package to help you determine your proper dose, making them easy to share.

They recently dropped a Gingersnap Snickerdoodle with a one-to-one ratio of CBD and THC, containing 25 milligrams of each. After gobbling one, the result was a balanced, mellow high, with the THC nicely complemented by the CBD.