kalah allen

If you are such a hot-shit biker that you need to wear those fancy-shmancy cycling shoes that snap into your pedals and CLAC-CLACK-CLACK while you walk around the coffee shop and grocery store, then you sure as fuck better not pedal slower than me. Because when I, as a person who just uses their bike casually to get around, pass you, and I look at your shoes that cost as much as my bicycle, and I am going pretty slow, but not as slow as your ass, it's embarrassing: I am embarrassed for you, you bike poseur. And as a postscript, please learn how to snap your shoes into the pedals, so when I'm behind you at a red light, I don't have to wait until the light turns red again for you and your feet to get adjusted. Thank you, and enjoy looking (from a distance) like the bike jock you wish you were.—Anonymous