From Atomic Lily
734 E Burnside
FASHION DON'T ITS!
Being a fashion guru, Jesse knows a thing or two about great fashion and a thing or 12 about fashion don'ts. Save yourself from fashion disaster by following Jesse's five simple tips. Shit, I better go home and change out of my overall shorts.
- DON'T wear pleated pants: "Those are horrible."
- DON'T wear cargo pants: "You just don't need that many pockets."
- DON'T wear overall shorts: "It's always 40-year-old women wearing them who are trying to look like they're 16. You just can't turn back the clock."
- DON'T wear tie-dye: "Does that need an explanation? Tie-dye should have never been invented."
- DON'T wear camoflage: "It's just ugly as hell. When people wear tie-dye and camo, it's the worst. You see way too much of that in Portland."
From Columbia Sportswear
6600 N Baltimore
FASHION DO ITS!
Melora is the "Materials Research Panelist" for Columbia Sportswear, which basically means she travels the world looking at fabrics, and predicting where fashion is headed before it gets there.
- DO wear shoulder pads: "They enhance the V-chestÉ the V-shaped torso."
- DO wear moccasins: "The typical type of moccasin that you would find at an Indian Reservation, preferably with white soles and an eagle on the toe."
- DO wear candy-colored pumps: "They draw the focus away from your shoulder pads, to give you a more balanced look."
- DO wear sweater vests: "It's just a wooly update for fall."
- DO wear constructed cottons: "With fine yarns and dense construction--nice, crisp, and lightweight, especially shirts."