Jesse Watson
From Atomic Lily
734 E Burnside


Being a fashion guru, Jesse knows a thing or two about great fashion and a thing or 12 about fashion don'ts. Save yourself from fashion disaster by following Jesse's five simple tips. Shit, I better go home and change out of my overall shorts.

- DON'T wear pleated pants: "Those are horrible."

- DON'T wear cargo pants: "You just don't need that many pockets."

- DON'T wear overall shorts: "It's always 40-year-old women wearing them who are trying to look like they're 16. You just can't turn back the clock."

- DON'T wear tie-dye: "Does that need an explanation? Tie-dye should have never been invented."

- DON'T wear camoflage: "It's just ugly as hell. When people wear tie-dye and camo, it's the worst. You see way too much of that in Portland."

Melora McGilligan
From Columbia Sportswear
6600 N Baltimore


Melora is the "Materials Research Panelist" for Columbia Sportswear, which basically means she travels the world looking at fabrics, and predicting where fashion is headed before it gets there.

- DO wear shoulder pads: "They enhance the V-chestÉ the V-shaped torso."

- DO wear moccasins: "The typical type of moccasin that you would find at an Indian Reservation, preferably with white soles and an eagle on the toe."

- DO wear candy-colored pumps: "They draw the focus away from your shoulder pads, to give you a more balanced look."

- DO wear sweater vests: "It's just a wooly update for fall."

- DO wear constructed cottons: "With fine yarns and dense construction--nice, crisp, and lightweight, especially shirts."