18 NW 3rd
Sochi works at a fancy, hip joint (recently described as "like drinking inside the bowl of an empty toilet." In a good wayÉ), so it's no wonder she's always looking so cute. Good luck trying to copy her fashion sense:
- DO introduce dichotomy to your wardrobe: "Mix feminine pieces with masculine, or standard with fantastical, or old things with futuristic, new things."
- DO wear sparkly shoes: "Because they make you feel good!"
- DO wear tight pants: "Why not? Show off your cute ass!"
- DO be confident: "You're not going to be sexy unless you wear whatever you want."
- DO wear polyester leisure suits: "Preferably one-piece, and from the '60s or '70s. The perfect wardrobe for the poor Portland jet-setter--you never have to iron it and you only have to get one piece."
1033 NW 16th
Mattress (from the other super hip, but not as fancy joint in Northwest) MIGHT be able to tolerate these fashion flubs, as long as you stay the HELL away from his apartment:
- DON'T wear baseball caps backwards: "I don't want those people over at my apartment. They never seem like cool people. I guess they remind me of the jocks."
- DON'T wear skirts over pants: "Are you wearing a skirt or are you wearing pants? It just drives me fucking crazy!"
- DON'T wear baggy pants: "It reminds me of going to those bad bars in places where people are wearing backwards hats."
- DON'T wear sunglasses inside: "It's over the top. It's not sunny inside, and it's not going to get you many friends--you're definitely not getting laid."
- DON'T wear goatees: "Awful things to have on your face. Some people got one in '93 and haven't gotten rid of it. Maybe they're trying to cover up a double chin? I don't want them at my apartment."