Sarah Shaoul From Black Wagon
Sarah's online boutique, Black Wagon, specializes in hip clothes for babies and kids. Shopping for tiny clothing is certainly one perk to having a baby, but here are a slew of Sarah's other baby-havin' pros:
• It's easier to quit smoking: "Kids mean you'll be spending less time in smoky bars. They work way better than the nicotine patch."
• It gives you the mother of all excuses: "When I was late on all my bills after I had [my son] Oliver, credit companies, mortgage, electric—ALL let me off the hook. (This excuse stops working after a year.)"
• Nursing makes you lose weight: "When I was nursing, I could eat like a sumo wrestler and I still lost weight."
• You can order off kids' menus: "Sometimes you just want a corndog or something little, but you'd look totally stupid if you don't have an actual kid with you."
• It's so celeb: "All the celebrities are doing it these days. Plus, you can feel totally self righteous in comparison, assuming you're not dropping them on their heads or hanging them out windows."
Bradley Delay delaybrothers.com
This painter doesn't think it's such a hot idea to have kids—not now, and not ever. So much so that he got himself a vasectomy! Here he explains why by pointing out these baby-havin' cons:
• Kids are dumb: "They drink bleach, they have poor bowel control, and they are no good at trivia."
• Kids are irreversible: "A vasectomy has a 30% chance of being reversed, but kids are forever! You can't just drown 'em in a sock—unless you're sneaky."
• You can't be a lush: "One instant you're Party Dude #1, and the next thing you know Child Protective Services is knocking down your door. Jeez."
• Who knows what they'll turn into: "Some kids turn into Republicans, and others will be shakin' it onstage in your favorite strip club five years after they run away."