Ian: your biggest fan here. I have to also own up there has been a few times in the past six weeks or so of articles where I TOTALLY WAS A HYENA about your writing. Even though it is, like, the ONLY reason I pick up the Mercury. (that's actually very serious and real, I feel increasingly disconnected from this current manifestation/version of Portland). I appreciate that you show up, week after week, to take the hits. Enough that when awoken via insomnia, this is my first stop: to show internet comment love to your rambly article about this whatever, and then also to youtube to watch decemberists videos until sleep comes back again. So, thanks: for being Everything As Fuck.

Right there with you, buster (but, you know, without the army of Angry Internet Assholes).

Good luck.

"I'm just so tired of writing about Portland or even 'Portland' or even PORTLAND"

From your lips to Steve's ears.

I am sitting on transit with my girlfriend who just moved to Portland. I just got the silly idea to Google News search on the single term "fuck". Your column came up sixth, and I got all excited to show her -- "You're gonna love this column in the Merc!" You're right up her alley as you are up mine. I'm fine with the preceding sentence. And so to see that you are feeling down, well, it seemed like I just had to tell you I think you rule. You haven't lost it. I know we all have times like this and so do you. Keep on keeping on slash the faith slash trucking.

What are these gastro-pubs? I never heard of them until last year. I imagine them to be a place where rich people gorge on an assortment of fine foods, then shit in a porcelain bowl held under their ass by someone dressed in all white, then eat some more.

Ian, you mentioned "not having anything to write about" in your most recent column. No shit? I haven't understood anything you've written about in the last (year?). Using the word Fuck is no substitution for content. Frank Cassano knows how to use the word fuck and make me laugh at the same time. You're (STILL?) taking up valuable publishing space. WE WANT FRANK!!!!!

BTW Ian I love reading your column every week-

Maybe you don't have anything to write about "Portland" or PORTLAND because you don't live here? Or maybe you aren't as amazing at writing as thought? How is the job search going down in LA?