Oh, the choices that you, dear reader, have to make this week! The next seven days have turned out to be the most promising week of author events in recent Portland memory, but don't fret—the Mercury's here with all the who's who and what's what for you. (Don't forget to check the Readings Listings and Book Reviews for even more author events. LeVar Burton from Reading Rainbow would be so proud of you!)

Thursday night brings more options than you can handle, so choose wisely from the following. Danielle Trussoni's Falling Through the Earth is a stirring psychological portrait of the author's father, a troubled and violent Vietnam vet (Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 7:30 pm, free). Animals in Translation, by Temple Grandin, is a fascinating interpretation of animal behavior, as filtered through Grandin's autism. Think Rain Man meets Dr. Doolittle (First Baptist Church, SW 12th and Taylor, 7:30 pm, free). Infamous punk bad-boy columnist Mykel Board brings some "fuck-you" literary cacophony to Reading Frenzy (921 SW Oak, 7 pm, free), while nearby, In Other Words tears it up with their Sixth Annual Literary Feast. The shindig features Siren's Echo, Ursula Le Guin, MC Renee Mitchell, food, ladies, etc., and goes down at the Governor Hotel (614 SW 11th, 5:30 pm; for tickets email literaryfeast@gmail.com).

Friday night, the new and improved art 'n' music zine, Old Growth, launches its second issue with an art installation by JunkTown, Birds of Prey, Mise en Abyme, and more (Acme, 1305 SE Main, 8 pm, $5, $2.50 for bearded people).

Sunday night the wildly popular humorist Christopher Moore hits town to read from A Dirty Job, his new novel about a "neurotic hypochondriac widower." (Cue ensuing snorts and chuckles.) (Powell's City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 7:30 pm, free)

Still up for more readings? Good—go to Powell's Monday night for Mark Kurlansky's social treatise on the half shell, The Big Oyster (1005 W Burnside, 7:30 pm, free), and follow it up Tuesday with the Kennedy School's Last Tuesday Author Series, featuring Karen Karbo and Whitney Otto in a "Don't Call it Chick Lit!" dialogue (5736 NE 33rd, 7 pm, free).

Then—collapse on the sofa and watch American Idol. You deserve it. CHAS BOWIE