NOTE FROM EDITOR: Due to the plummeting popularity of our trading card series "Dangers of Our Modern World," we are happy to present this totally new series for your enjoyment.

DANGERS OF THE MEDIEVAL WORLD
TRADING CARD SERIES

Collect Them All!


#1 HERETICS

WHAT ARE THEY? "Heretics" hold opinions at odds with the teachings of the Roman Catholic Church. Examples of heresy can include making a ribald joke about the Pope, entering into a sexual congress with Satan, or claiming God is instructing you to wear male clothing and drive the English hordes from France.

HERESY PROS: Heretics always have something interesting to say, and are often invited to parties.

HERESY CONS: When convicted, heretics are often thrown into damp rat-infested dungeons where they eat naught but moldy crusts of bread and stale water. They are also usually tortured, whether upon a rack, or by means of a pear-shaped device that is inserted into the rectum and slowly expanded until the heretic is either mutilated or recants his satanic beliefs.

CONCLUSION: Heresy is one of the "Dangers of the Medieval World!"


#2 DANCING BEARS

WHAT IS IT? A dancing bear is a bear that has been specifically trained to hop about on its hind legs, giving the impression of "dancing." Its purpose is to entertain the nobility at faires or at court.

DANCING BEAR PROS: As a source of entertainment, a dancing bear's only equal is that master of japery, the court jester. Nevertheless, a dancing bear delights all those who gaze upon its whimsical countenance.

DANCING BEAR CONS: Occasionally, the bear's tether will break, sending the beast into a fury. With one sweep of its mighty claws, dancing bears have been known to remove a serf's head from his shoulders, and disembowel children with little regard to the teachings of the Roman Catholic church (See Dangers of the Medieval World #1, "Heretics").

CONCLUSION: Dancing Bears are one of the "Dangers of the Medieval World!"