"...I'm trying to learn a little something about you. I'm not interested in a front row seat..."

1,2,3 and some how I am WINNING!

No one is interested in hearing your passive aggressive yelps about your recent dates. Get over your ego, learn to deal with small character flaws, and nut the fuck up.

If someone eating with their mouth open is such a horrific-deal-breaking-sight, don't be a Whiner and Diner, say something. If you think that finding someone [or at least getting laid by someone regularly] is important to you, deal. No one is perfect.

OH!!!!!! Eating out in a RESTAURANT. My bad. I thought you were talking about something else.

Where are you meeting these girls for your first dates? On-line, or in person? It seems like if you already know them and like them well enough to ask them out, you might be more forgiving of a lack of table manners. If this is a blind-date type of situation, perhaps you should start frequenting places like etiquette schools or other places more likely to provide single females with impeccable manners.

For what it's worth, I went on countless horrible, horrible first/blind dates while trying to meet people. I was lewdly propositioned before the movie even started, I was horrified by weird body odors, I was shocked by racist or homophobic statements from people I thought would be cool. After years of this, I finally met the perfect guy for me. He occasionally chews with his mouth open, but all his other great personality traits totally make up for it. And if I say, hey, could you close your mouth when you chew... he does it.

Chewing with your gob open and talking with a mouth-full of food is about the most disgusting thing one can do. I fucking HATE that.

2 out of 10. More effort and something even slightly relevant would have been nice.

A little more padding word-wise, and Methabago would've been here.

Interest piqued.

Sounds like yet another classic Portland whiner.