I, too, feel an indescribable rage when friendly people who are serving me in some way attempt to make pleasant small talk so we don't have to stand in awkward silence. GOD I HATE IT SO MUCH.

If some place makes me mad, I go to a different place.

Nice weather we've been having.

So...what are you up to this weekend?

What?! You published this I, Anon instead of the account of the menage-a-dauphin by the Giver of Underwater Supreme Orgasms?! Portland Mercury editors, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

I shop at the Circle K, and no one ever makes eye contact with me, let alone tries to make conversation. Maybe you should shop there.

Just tell them to go fuck themselves. Always works for me.

Menage-a-dauphin? Someone had a three-way with France's heir apparent?

Brilliant, I Anonymous is the place to complain about not being anonymous.
I here by state a complaint against losing my anonymnity at an early age, underneath an older, punk-rock woman, in her Toyota Corolla, on a detached, pleather passenger seat. After reading this post, I now understand why I have fallen in 5-second-love with most of the cashiers at New Seasons. Dear Anonymous... hugs for you. Are you going to a barbecue?

This I,Anon might have sexual issues, due to god knows what...Santa Claus types that make you sit on their laps?

Anytime i and all the other people in line are held up by un-necessary banter b/t the cashier and customer up front, it's usually that CUSTOMER who iniciates this. Some people, usually middle-aged to old white women, feel a need to chat up the cashier when they should just shut up and move the fuck along. So often times, it's not the cashier's fault.

Really?!? We don't give a shit about your fucking plans.
P.S. Thanks for adding to my profit sharing check. Dick.

Its bad manners to get impatient in a line we all must stand in or starve.

testing testing

hey none of you courasurprising.

oh yeah here it comes

First world problems are sooooooooooooo brutal. You'd never need to worry about this kinda shit in Somolia.

DADADADADADADADADA-MOSA! DAMOSADAMOSADAMOSA! daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaMOSA!

First of all, maybe stop shopping at a place which frustrates you. Second, consider how boring, tedious, and down-right aggravating being a cashier/checker/clerk can be. All day long you put up with tired, angry, stupid, mean people who are upset at you because the store you work for didn't have the right kind of cereal or their coupons expired and who do they take it out on? Not the store director or the marketing division, they take it out on the cashier. Also, stop and think about the fact that the cashier might not care how you are at all. In fact they might be just as upset about having to ask you how you are as you are about being asked. They were trained to ask all these questions because someone in their corporate offices marketing division did some statistics years ago saying that it would help some percentage of clients feel better. Trained. They were told to ask you by the people that pay them to do their job. If your boss told you to ask everyone you met how their day was and what they were doing later you'd do it to because there is money involved. Just answer the damned question because that cashier who is being so helpful and ringing you up and bagging your groceries might be at the end or the beginning of a 6, 7, or 8 hour shift. The cashier is probably tired and bored and by just taking time out of your ultra-important self-absorbed better-than-the-lowly-cashier day to TALK to the person who is doing a service for you will NOT kill you. Okay, fine. Be a pussy and go through the U-Scan at Fred Meyer for the rest of your life, but you will still need to deal with customer service clerks. There is a person who is in-charge of the U-Scan and you might have to interact with them at some point to. "Heavens no!" you might exclaim, but it's true. How do you survive like that? You can't even make small talk with a cashier, I can't even imagine how infuriating you would be to deal with at an airport or on a bus, but you're probably too good for the bus too. So you're tired of dealing with cashiers? As a cashier I resent that entire I, Anonymous because it's mean, self-absorbed people like you who make or break a day on the line. Suck-it up and good outside and just deal with people. Or better yet, just stay in your house and keep your bad attitude to yourself. It might be very very hard for you, but try to be nice and make the damn small talk.

Buy your shit online, or somewhere with a self checkout. Of course you can also get over yourself and just say 'nothing'. I'm thinking that the under paid, under appreciated cashier will get the not so thinly veiled hint and shut up and just process your order.

Dale is the best! But also, everyone else is pretty great too. I do not support anonymous.

"I'm super embarrassed for, yet a little gratified everytime I see damosa waxing his peabrained, unfounded philosophy & every other word is misspelled. Further proof that this idiot is a legend in his own mind & probably doesn't own a library card. Hey damosa...did you READ where the complainer said he hates cashiers INITIATING small talk? and then did you READ when an obvious employee of New Seasons stated that he is encouraged to do so? man. you really love hearing your own mouth diarrhea damosa."

YES! Another glowing validation from one of my adoring on-line fans. I really should write a blog. Keep sending the love.

Haterade is overrated. If you want to give "nice" a shot, just email me. I'll be nice to you. We could go for a walk or get some food or maybe check out a new movie. I am being serious. I promise not to breathe a word of it to anyone!