I'm very pleased that you seem to be having a splendid time drinking and carrying on these days. That's what life's all about, isn't it? In fact, the next time you have a drink, raise your glass to me.
However, as a neighbor in your building, I am becoming annoyed with your little puking problem. You know the situation: it's late at night, a little after two, the bars have closed, you just can't hold your liquor any more, and it feels so good to puke out the north side of the building. But all of us, fast asleep, dreaming peacefully--with the windows open to let in the cool evening breezes, awaken with a start--to the sound of your retching and the subsequent splat of puke on the ground.
While this may seem like a satisfying and tidy way for you to rid your body of its toxic spirits, for the rest of us it is unpleasant, and simply gross. So next time it's late at night, and you need to ralph, show a little class and barf in the privacy of your own bathroom (or bedroom, living room, or kitchen, if you prefer). It would be a simple and easy way to improve the late night atmosphere of our neighborhood.
Thank you in advance for your cooperation. Happy puking!--Anonymous