Kalah Allen
To the Narcophiliac:

Remember last summer when I was living in my broken-down car outside the bar where you work, and I got back to my car late one night while you were closing? I got separated from my boyfriend (who was carrying my keys), and was therefore locked out of my car. You were 'nice' enough to let me hang out in the 'safety' of the bar while you closed, and bought me drinks while I waited for my boyfriend. Despite the rumors that you were a sexual predator, I thought you were a nice guy. Looks like you proved to me, that night, that those rumors were true after all. You waited until I passed out and then gave yourself penile pleasure with my unconscious hand. When trying something that disgusting, it's best to make sure you've given your victim enough alcohol so that she remains completely passed out during the entirety of such a revolting act. Nice going. I hope the hand job you 'received' that night was worth the cost of our friendship.--Anonymous