Kalah Allen
Mommie, Dearest

Every morning you wake up, get your children dressed, and then bring them to me. Then you tell me that you had a "long night" and that they "might be cranky." You might as well just be straightforward and tell me that you were out drinking all night, and that your kid didn't go to sleep until two hours after you got home, because it is up to me to then feed them breakfast, which they will throw at me. Then I must change their shit-filled underwear (which they will throw at me), feed them lunch (which they will throw at me after shoving a significant amount up their nose), and attempt to put them to bed for a nap (while they kick and scream because they don't have their blanket, because you left it at that guy's house you screwed last weekend and can't remember where he lives). After I have to deal with 14 children, you get upset at me that your child has a bite mark on their arm, and ignore the fact that I am bleeding from the head because your "little angel" threw a chair at me. I may only make $6.72 an hour for shoveling your kids' shit out of their pants, but if you don't change your tune about your kid having "nothing wrong with them" when they draw pictures of themselves killing small animals, your kids are going to stop napping. Then you'll see what "a little cranky" feels like.--Anonymous