You Teddy-Ruxpin looking fat fuck. I loaned you my favorite swim trunks when I felt sorry for you, and let you go hot tubbing at my house with the big boys and girls. Somehow you changed back into your dry clothes, but still ran off with my sopping wet shorts. How very George Costanza of you. We have spoken and e-mailed since, and still no swim trunks. What gives? Just because you have your own TV show doesn't make you cool, especially when it sucks ass. Remember that night my buddy and I got so drunk and then drove you all over town, trying to scare the shit out of you? Well, it was water in a Vodka bottle you dumb ass. So, keep the shorts. But remember--you're pathetic and weak, and will always be unsuccessful, and resemble an animated plush toy. --Anonymous
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