You vigorously prance into English class once a week, just a few minutes before it's time to start. We, as your students, anxiously wait for your arrival with big smiling faces. English can be such a tedious subject, but you, you make it a fun explosion. The way you talk, it's so... dreamy. I cannot tell you how many people ask, "Who is your English instructor?" followed by a little giggle. Girls and guys, straight and gay, we all have crushes on you!!! Your cute glasses, your funky shoes, your deep, dark hair, and the way you continuously drink 1/4 of a bottle of water in the 2 1/2 hours. How do you do it? I bet you have a beautiful woman or man at home, whatever your preference may be. You make college English such a wonderful time, I've never wanted to write so much before in my life. After the term is over, will you go out with me? You'll just have to guess who wrote this.--Anonymous
The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.