Kalah Allen

You have no idea what it means to be a girl and like biking as much as I do. On the day of the recent bike race which you and your messengers boys-club were having, I wasn't about to let it go when you started giving me shit and making me feel excluded. You ruin bicycling for so many people, I wasn't about to let you ruin it for me that day. I thought about trying to tell you that you hurt my feelings, but realized you didn't deserve the effort. Instead, I calculated the only truly appropriate way to exact revenge. Because you are such an asshole, I rode past you wielding poop on a stick, and smeared doggy doo across your back. Too bad you were too drunk to chase me.--Anonymous