The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.
Hi, lame ass. Yes, you, the Portland police man who so rudely said, "Are you sure I didn't arrest you or something last year?" when you were trying to place my face at the coffee shop. Dude, do you, like, have a fucking brain? First off, you bravado-inflicted ape, I own my own successful business, have a solid community foothold, and MAKE MORE MONEY THAN YOU!!! (And I am better looking, and do not look like a thug whatsoever.) Dipshit, you asked me OUT LOUD if you'd arrested me before! Like I would say yes in the first place! Secondly, EVERYONE could hear you, sending a questionable message to locals who see me there daily—daily
, you ass wipe. So when you see me pull up for a latte or whatever, stay the fuck away from me. Do not fuck with serious people... who MAKE MORE MONEY THAN YOU. P.S. I work only three to four hours a day to make around 65k a year, AND I don't have people hate me for the job I do. So, there you have it: I am better than you are and you are a robot without a soul.—Anonymous