The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.
This goes out to whoever stole one of the three Hula Hoops that were on the hedges in front of my house. They were put out there for fun. You know, good old fashioned random Hula Hooping? Just because an item is sitting in front of someone's house does not give you the right to just take it. Jesus! What were you thinking? It wasn't a crappy old kitchen sink with a "Free!" sign on it. I'll have you know that one woman actually told me that her small child was inspired because the little one had tried so many times unsuccessfully to Hula and after practicing in front of my house a few times, was finally able to do it. Now, doesn't that make you feel validated about stealing? Return my Hula-Hoop or buy me another one! They are 5 bucks at Fred's.
P.S. If you would have asked for it, I would have given it to you anyway, you jerk.--Anonymous