Kalah Allen
WE BUILT THIS BULLSHIT ON ROCK 'N' ROLL

You somehow managed to convince everyone you are a former rock star. For several years, everyone thought you were the big-time drummer for a big-time band, with loads of bucks and babes. You fooled the whole town with your bullshit. You even fooled a poor woman into supporting you for several years, while you were 'working on your big comeback.' Oh yeah, they'll call any day nowÉ 'Let's get the band back together, man!' 'I have to go meet with a record exec in Vegas, let me use your credit card, man!' 'Don't worry, I'll be back in the big bucks soon, man!' Someone Googled the rocker you claimed to be and found out he's touring in Europe! He's not at all lying on the couch, eating other people's food, and watching TV! And now you say you're going to drum for Led Zeppelin? Holy cow! That is astonishing! I honestly can't believe the lack of effort you put into making your bullshit even slightly plausible! Maybe you should switch tacks and start claiming to be a lesser-known celebrity. Maybe someone dead?--Anonymous