Kalah Allen
Chrome Dome Vengeance

The other day I was riding my bike home from a long day of manual labor when a fat old man yelled to me, "Where's your helmet, chrome dome??!!" Damn. Yeah, I'm kinda losin' hair, but now I'm "chrome dome"? You can hurl insults, but you can't touch me otherwise. I may have joined the ranks of the mocked, bald population, but I'm AWOL from the ranks of the ashamed and bald. You can kiss my hairy ass, muthafucka. Look at history's bald successes: The man who invented the wheel. The man who invented the tree. They were both just as bald as you please. The man who invented music was getting a little thin up top, and the man who married your mom after that hairy bastard left her sorry ass was balder than your underdeveloped testicles. I'm going to take over the world and turn it upside down with hair, and--if necessary--without. --Anonymous