Kalah Allen
Little Bike Light of Mine

While my bike sat in front of the bar last night, you absconded with my front bike light. You probably didn't even need it; if you needed it, you'd have one already. Nah, you probably were drunk and thought it would be fun to play with. Perhaps you assuaged your guilt over endangering my safety by leaving me the rear one? You probably don't steal big stuff, just little items you find useful or entrancing. "Oooh shiny!" you say, and help yourself to your coworker's CDs, someone's new paperback, a li'l old bike light. You're probably the same asshole who steals my pool chalk when I'm not looking. Get your own stuff! And you don't need to steal a light, it's a fuckin' $12 item, man. Have some soul. Maybe you think the world owes you a living. Maybe you get a thrill from getting something for free. Maybe you're just an asshole. Learn some respect. Think about other people as actual beings who deserve your estimation. My consolation is that I firmly believe that what goes around, comes around. You'll get yours, jackass. --Anonymous