Joe Newton
Don't Kick My Chair, Shitdrop

To all chair kickers and the guy I called a "fucking little pussy": Firstly, I apologize. My response was not quite in proportion. The problem is that every time I go to a public theater, some jackass just has to sit behind me and kick my motherfucking chair. I mean, what's with that shit? Don't you people have a voice in your head that says, "Hey, maybe the person in the seat I'm kicking the fuck out of right now might actually feel it?" Maybe you feel anonymous in a dark theater and think no one will really confront you. Wrong. Granted, my reaction was completely out of control and I was wrong for that, but I did warn you and you still kicked my goddamn chair--what the fuck is up with that? The next time you and all the rest of you chair-kicking shitdrops decide to "inadvertently" kick someone's chair, consider deeply for a moment that the person you are fucking with might not have gotten laid in some time, is unemployed, and is just dying to seriously take some shit out on some rude and ignorant chair-kicking bastard. Pray to god that person is not me. --Anonymous