To the super-drunk homeless lady: I'm really sorry that I didn't give you a quarter when you asked for it, like I said I was going to. My friend Jimmy was just playing a joke on me when he told you that I had a shit load of quarters in my pocket. I was lying when I went along with it, because I only had, like, two quarters in my pocket at the time, I think. Anyway, I would have given one of them to you right away, but I was kind of running low on them and had to do some laundry later. But you finally annoyed me enough that I was about to give them both to you anyway. Right then was when you shit your pants. It smelled so horrible that we just totally had to bail right away. So, I'm sorry for that. I'll get ya next time, okay?--Anonymous
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