Kalah Allen
Too Hot For Hooking

Portland Police: MY GIRLFRIEND IS NOT A HOOKER! Sure she has triple-D breasts and walks down Sandy on her way home--but goddamn! When's the last time you've seen a hooker working Sandy who wasn't a scabbed over crack whore? My girlfriend is hot, healthy, stylish, and walking home after waiting tables for eight hours--that's it. But at least once a month you slimy shits get out of your cars and accuse her of hooking. You want ID, ask questions, follow her home--you make her cry! You're harassing her--just like the creeps who slow their cars, making with the "baby" shit. Like the piglets she waits on who talk to her tits and ask for her number while shoving cheese bread into their sorry, middle-aged holes. Don't you have anything better to do? Aren't you supposed to be killing African Americans during routine traffic violations? Get your minds off my girlfriend's breasts and stop acting like the closet johns you know you are! I'm buying her a micro-cassette recorder, and the next time you stop and harass her, it's going to be on tape--and you're going to end up on a very public shit list. --Anonymous