Kalah Allen
Stinging Singing

Please, stop singing along at rock concerts. It's one thing when Sammy Hagar sticks his mic out for the crowd to chant along with "Best of Both Worlds," but it's another thing entirely when I finally get a chance to see my favorite band and it's practically ruined by your insistence upon singing every intelligible lyric. It's bad enough that a decent rock show is doomed to be monopolized by throngs of ultra-hip party people--to whom the brilliant anthems of a band like the Wrens are nothing more than catchy, pop party songs. But DO YOU HAVE TO FUCKING SING ALONG, drowning out the music with your shitty, atonal warbling? When you have that many people singing at once, unless it's the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, it sounds like the Star Spangled Banner being mangled at a Mariners game. And this is on top of your cell-phone talking ass, spilling drinks and stepping on my feet, while you work really hard to let everyone around you know your friend is dating the lead singer. Please, if you really love a band, just shut your fucking mouth and listen. --Anonymous