Kalah Allen
Graffiti Me Good

Hiphop wannabes: Stop spray-painting the white truck on the corner of NE 27th and Weidler. I've done plenty of graffiti in my day, and I don't think you kids get it. Don't tag local businesses' trucks--that's ignorant. Your tags are blurry and fucked up--you need practice. Find a wall that can't be seen from the street and buy a can of white enamel house paint. Every night when your mom dozes off, sneak out there, practice your tags, and when you're done, paint over it all with the house paint. Not only will you never get in trouble, you'll have a clean, dry wall waiting for you whenever you want. Do this until you develop your skills and know what the hell you're doing, and THEN go out and write. And for fuck's sake, don't just go tag some guy's truck because it's got a clean white surface--that's cowardly and won't impress anyone. If you can leave your house, tag something, and get back home inside of a minute without getting your pants dirty--son, that ain't graffiti, that's just vandalism. When you grow some balls and start tagging Clear Channel billboards you can start calling yourselves graf writers. --Anonymous