Kalah Allen
The Nuisance of NE

Yo, BAD COMPANY! Fix your goddamn CB radio! Your bunk-ass gator station's been bleeding over into stereos and tape decks all over Northeast Portland for YEARS! You drive around town in your hoopty-ass truck blasting your broken transmissions out your giant whip antenna, frightening your neighbors with the bleedover from your overpowered and distorted Citizen's Band rig. You ruined my friend's efforts to record songs in his basement--his guitar amp kept picking up your retarded trucker slang. Now you just blew out the speakers in my favorite caf! I bet you think that's cool. What do you power your transmitter with? Crystal Meth? You can keep the Citizens' Band but stay the fuck out of my living room. Pull the shims out of your transmitter, BAD COMPANY, or I'm going to sick Big Daddy on your Big Mama. P.S. I got your home 20!--Anonymous