Kalah Allen

You, with the devil horns and diaper bag: Stop bringing your small children to heavy-metal shows. Of course the exposure to loud music is hazardous, but even if you give children earplugs, most metal shows have video backdrops or band members that are really grisly and foul. And without fail there are drunken cretins acting like fools. Mind you, this is my tribe—I am fierce in defending my metal brethren if they choose to overindulge and stumble about, yell profanities, and voluntarily kick the shit out of each other. My opinion is that they are ridiculous heathens, but the metal concert is a sacred place to behave in such a way and not be concerned about offending, frightening, or damaging little souls. Chaotic settings of war or animated prison sex may seem clearly simulated or artistic to an adult, but that preschooler may not be developmentally able to separate what is pretend and what is reality. "They like it! They beg me to go!" you say. Tough shit, they also like eating Oreos all day and never ever brushing their teeth. No babysitter? No show. Hail Satan, but leave the kid at home.—Anonymous