Kalah Allen

Door sluts: There's only one way to stand a chance at getting into a venue without paying, and your method isn't it. We door people are like finely tuned machines who are only concerned with making the performers and the venue money. We are also aware that the tools most likely to bitch about a cover are usually the ones most able to afford it, making us even less sympathetic to someone who repeatedly blurts, "I don't want to pay five bucks." The second you say that, your only option is to fuck off. And don't think we won't tell you so in front of your friends, ruining your rep as the über-hipster who gets in free: Door people are often hired for their willingness to eviscerate dumb fucks like you. I do it every weekend. Here's how you get slack: Be nice, arrive as a group of five or more (with the exception of hard line places, groups often get in for half price), and if you are in (insert supposedly cool activity of the moment) don't say anything... we are sick of you people thinking you get into shit for free because of some hobby we don't care about.—Anonymous