Kalah Allen

To helmet-less dumb-asses on bikes: I'm sick of seeing your egocentric helmet-less heads exposed and vulnerable. You superficial fuckups care more about your hairdos than the brains that go under them. Ever wonder if you'll be able to wipe your own ass after major head trauma? No worries, espresso tastes ALMOST as good through a plastic straw, as do cheese fries and garden burgers. Gee, probably PBR too. And to all you fit and hip breeders with pull-along trailers: Best begin interviews now for the nanny who'll raise the pack while you're recovering in the ICU. Helmet's good enough for the kid but not you, you irresponsible twit? Think about the cost of psychoanalysis your kids will incur after watching your brain splat across the windshield of some asshole's Humvee. Wearing a helmet is NOT a fashion statement! It's one of the few accessories of modern life that has a demonstrated function! Or maybe a lobotomy would do you good? Leaving the helmet behind is not a cool rebellion against your parents or the government or an exercise of free will. It's selfish and stupid.—Anonymous