Welcome to the concept of "north." In fact, welcome to the concept of directions. When you call my place of employment asking how to get here, you can reasonably expect to hear terms like "north," "south," "west," and so on. Don't tell me I'm "not very good with directions." I'm going to let you in on a little secret. You know how when you go to the corner of any block in our city, the streets are at a right angle? You ever notice that? Well, the reason you see a right angle is because OUR ENTIRE CITY IS BUILT ON A GIANT FUCKING GRID! If you live your life on a giant north-south-east-west grid and you don't know where north is, I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the gene pool. That's like living on a staircase and having problems with the concepts of "up" and "down." It's not like I'm asking you to navigate pre-war Tokyo or medieval Cairo. I know, you want directions like "Go past the doggie daycare and turn right at the strip club." But you know what? See this bulge? Next time you want directions that take the form of a complex relational narrative, ask someone with internal genitalia, mmmkay?—Anonymous
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