jeremy eaton

Now I wouldn't say I worship "evil"—but I wouldn't kick it out of bed for eating crackers, either. If you ask me, "evil" totally gets a bum rap. I mean, sure, it makes certain people uncomfortable... but those complainers are usually on the receiving end of evil. The rest of us who like to inflict evil—or watch it be inflicted on others—think it's pretty awesome.

But generally speaking, Americans don't do so well with "evil." It's so ingrained into our consciousness that we should avoid committing evil, that when we try something satanic in nature, it's usually a bust. Take television for example. Name one American television show that excels in portraying evil stuff. HA! YOU CAN'T! "But wait," I hear you cry, "you really didn't give me a chance to..." HA! THAT'S BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW "EVIL" FROM YOUR ELBOW! (BTW, "interrupting people" is a fun and quick method of inserting "evilness" into your busy day.)

Now the British? They know what "evil" is all about. Maybe it's because their country is so much older, and they grew up with all those creepy fairy tales and monster stories, but they really know how to make "evil" fun! Especially on TV! For example, if you haven't checked out Hex (BBC America, Thurs, 10 pm), you are missing one of the most evil, and more importantly, SEXY shows on television. The story revolves around a hot boarding-school student who learns she's a reincarnated witch. Plus she has a lesbian ghost roommate, and gets it on with an evil angel from Hell! It's kind of like Buffy the Vampire Slayer... crossed with late-night Cinemax!

Then there's my absolute FAVE British "evil" show called Garth Marenghi's Darkplace (Sci-Fi, Thurs, 10 pm), and... you'll just have to bear with the following description. Garth Marenghi is a bestselling Stephen King–style horror writer, famous for such books as The Ooze (Can water die?) and Afterbirth (A placenta wants revenge!). In the early '80s, Garth was given his own horror TV show entitled Garth Marenghi's Darkplace which, according to the author, had one sole intention: "To change the evolutionary course of man over a series of half-hour episodes." As it turned out, this show was so frightening and controversial, "government authorities" took it off the air forever—that is, until now!

Twenty years later, the original Darkplace episodes are back, hosted by Marenghi himself—who not only wrote the show, but directed and starred in it as well. The plot revolves around gun-toting physician Rick Dagless, MD (Marenghi), who battles evil, drippy monsters that lurk behind every door of Darkplace Hospital... and... and... I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I admit it: This entire show is fake, FAKE, FAKE! "Garth Marenghi" is actually comedian Matthew Holness, and Darkplace is actually a spot-on parody of AWFUL '80s television—complete with bizarre haircuts, choppy editing, cheap-ass production values, and hilariously stupid writing. But not only is this show laugh-out-loud hee-larious, it's got the same dry wit and charm of The Office and is 100 percent "wink free." So do yourself a favor, Americans! Check out Hex and Garth Marenghi's Darkplace—just like me, they make "evil" fun again!