Okay, I just read something that blew... my freaking... MIND! It was a story about a New York City "Reality TV School" where they actually train people "to audition and act for reality television." Soooooo... is this how it's gonna be? Are we finally admitting that reality television isn't even slightly real, and that the only difference between Project Runway and Ghost Whisperer is that the purple faux-hawked designer "Suede" is a better actor? Does this also mean that MAYBE instead of vying against 20 other contestants for a million dollars, reality stars should be receiving the same pay as their actor AND SCREENWRITER counterparts? Dig this factoid: Did you know that only five of the top 15 shows of last year were scripted? That means it's only a matter of time before the contestants on Survivor or some other reality program form an alliance and walk off the show until they start getting paid what they're worth!
So what are you waiting for, reality stars? Are you going to accept this obvious inequity? Are you going to continue to be paid significantly less than regular actors and writers for significantly more work and tons more humiliation? Brittany from America's Next Top Model, you should walk up to Tyra and say, "Girl, I ain't even about to get fierce until I get paid!" Rise up against the system, reality stars! Fight the power! Take back your destiny! Si se puede! YES... YOU... CAN!
Okay. Here's some stuff coming on TV this week:
• Vice-Presidential Debate (All nets, Thurs Oct 2, 6 pm). If she doesn't pull a John McCain and try to chicken out (BAWK! Buck-buck-buck-buck-KAW!!), veep wannabe Sarah Palin will take on Democrat Joe Biden in a no-holds-barred Alaska-style cage match. Watch as Sarah tries to augment her mannish-ness by comparing herself to animals wearing make-up. ("I'm a pitbull with lipstick!" "I'm a moose with mascara!" "I'm a horse's ass with Botox!")
• The Ex List (CBS, Fri Oct 3, 9 pm). If you're single, and desperately unable to snag a man, have I got a show for you! Elizabeth Reaser (from—ugh!—Grey's Anatomy) stars as a single gal who learns from a psychic that she's already met the love of her life. But here's the script-flip! She only has one year to find him or be alone forever. Well, I'm psychic, too, and my prediction is that she'll climb into her pajamas and sit in front of the TV while devouring an entire tub of Chunky Monkey.
• Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Cartoon Network, Fri Oct 3, 9 pm). Remember back in 2003, when Samurai Jack creator Genndy Tartakovsky made a series of absolutely stunning Star Wars cartoons? Well... this isn't them. This is the series that producer George Lucas made after getting jealous of Tartakovsky's far superior series, and if the theatrical version that was released a few months ago is any indication, IT WILL SUCK. That being said, cartoon characters should join reality stars in demanding higher wages! Yoda could be all like, "George Lucas, not paying what Yoda is worth you are! Stick contract where sun doesn't shine, you will. Mmmmm... yessssssss."