ANOTHER SATISFIED CUSTOMER
TO THE EDITOR: The question, "Does Portland need another hip weekly?" was answered for me after reading Monica Drake's interview ["Support Your Local Sex Worker," Sept 28]. There's a skillful flow to her writing. She's like a Teri Gross for the underground. I read her last piece on Teresa Dulce and walked down 4th with a positively renewed sense of interest in my fellow Portlanders. Keep it coming.
JEN: AN INHUMAN MONSTER!
TO THE EDITOR: I came across a preview for the K Records Showcase ["Up & Coming," Sept 28] which was generally accurate, with the following exception: the Softies are far from "impeccably mannered." Just try living with Jen.
It isn't unusual for her to leave coffee filters in the sink for days at a time. Her scooter drips puddles of gasoline in the garage. I suspect she encourages her cat to fight with my cat, but I can't prove it.
Don't get me wrong. I like Jen. I think she's a great person, and I'm glad she lives at our house. However, underneath the sweet songs and fashionable outfits, she's got the mouth of a sailor and manners like Al Bundy.
PARTRIDGE FAMILY TEMPLE: CANDY-ASS FASCISTS?
TO THE EDITOR: What gives with the latest cover story??? ["The Partridge Family Temple," Jim Redden, Oct 5] Does anybody really care what a bunch of piss-drinking, sister-fucking freaks do in their spare time? You painted that bunch of losers as some sort of foreboding force in Portland, when they are nothing but candy-ass fascists.
PARTRIDGE FAMILY TEMPLE: THE STUPID WILL BE PUNISHED
TO THE EDITOR: I remember reading Shaun [Partridge] Fairlee's blurb in the last voter's pamphlet. It was damn funny. I assumed he was just fucking with us. Even the rhetoric about most people being "stupid cattle" isn't so bad. But here's the thing--so are you, Shaun. Make no mistake: one of the first and most cherished delusions of stupid people is they are somehow "Unique."
If you're joking, Shaun, you're not funny. And I don't mean that in a whiny liberal sense. I mean you don't amuse me. If you're not joking, fuck you. And furthermore, look out, because there are a great many of us who relish punishing stupidity.
PARTRIDGE FAMILY TEMPLE: HIS HOLINESS SPEAKS
DEAR EDITOR: Although your article is a mildly amusing piece of sensationalism, it is basically a work of fiction. As a co-founder and High Priest of the Temple, I feel it is my duty to set the record straight.
Jim Redden prints rumors as if they are facts. Redden knows we are not as violent as he tries to paint us. If we were, he would be too scared to write such lies out of fear for his life.
Redden also falsely accuses the Temple of being racist. Both the Partridge Family television show and the Temple preach racial harmony. In episode 18 (guest starring Richard Pryor and Lou Gossett, Jr.), Danny Partridge becomes an honorary member of the Afro-American Cultural Society. We also view the multi-colored bus as a symbolic representation of the world's many races.
I find your paper's practice of sexual McCarthyism disturbing. Redden writes, "...rumors circulate that Temple members engage in orgies, drink each other's urine, and commit incest." He makes it sound like sex between consenting adults is a crime. I would think that a supposedly alternative paper would be a little more tolerant of peoples' sexual preferences. As for that pig who called us "run-of-the-mill goof balls," all I can say is, "Off the Fuzz!"
The 2nd Coming of Keith Partridge
Messiah, Partridge Family Temple
San Pueblo, California
FROM THE EDITOR: In a post-publication phone interview, Morgan Tisdale (aka Officer Partridge) claims Jim Redden's article was "hopelessly inaccurate." Jim Redden and the Mercury stand by the story. However, instead of sending a letter listing his complaints, Tisdale has chosen to issue the following decree: "I do hereby challenge anyone in the city to an open and public debate regarding this issue. Either challenge me to a debate, or shut the hell up. Send your challenges to: The Officer Partridge Challenge, P.O. Box 15202, Portland, 97293 ...Bring it on!"