TO THE EDITOR: Would you please pass this message on to the poor I, Anonymous writer [March 8] who got their car towed from the Blockbuster parking lot. While it is true that Blockbuster employees do work at the worst of places and probably do get paid shit to lick rich West Hills ass, they probably do NOT hang out 2 1/2 hours after work to call tow companies on unsuspecting Matador partiers. The more likely scenario is that the tow company was basically fulfilling its contractthat's how the whole tow thing works. It's not like businesses pay to have tow companies come round up cars. No one has to be on the premises to call, that rarely happens. If it's after hours and there's a sign, the tow guy is going to show up because that's how those scavengers make their money. It's that simple. That's why there's a sign that says "Don't fucking park here." Duh. Like Blockbuster is going to use its corporate scum-sucking dollars to pay some schmuck overtime to watch the parking lot at 2:30 am. Right.
HONEST MUSICIAN OR AD INDUSTRY HO?
TO THE MERCURY: This note is for Daniel Riddle who equates working as a carpenter to doing a commercial for Exxon ["Kill Your Television," in which local musicians compose music for commercials, March 1]. How appropriate, Dan, that you describe yourself as "working your fuckin' ass off," but most carpenters do not pimp themselves like you do. You are an example of how some who do not wander are lost.
CHEERLEADERS: SPINNING DECEITFUL WEBS OF BETRAYAL?
TO KATIA DUNN: My name is Michael Martin-Tellis. I am the coach who built the cheerleading program at Clackamas High School. I spent 5 years turning Clackamas into a very competitive, well-respected program. I had a chance to read your article ["Ready, Okay!" in which Katia attends the state cheerleading championships, Feb 22]. The thing that bothers me most is the talk about betrayal. I know every one of the kids that stayed, graduated, or chose to compete all-star. And choosing to do something different is not betraying anyone. Not for me or the students who left their school teams. All-star cheerleading is new to Oregon but not new. It coexists with high school cheerleading in most areas of the country. We did not invent anything. We just wanted to try something new.
I am happy to see you highlight cheerleaders in your paper. These kids work very hard and they deserve it. I just want you to understand that this is not a battle. It's just different. I think what people don't understand, they are afraid of.
THANKS FOR THE FREE PLUG!
TO THE MERCURY: Kudos for putting together a compilation of bands we love (by the way what kind of love are you suggesting?) [RE: The Portland Mercury "Compact Disc of Sound"]. Here's some breaking news: the thriving Portland music scene is full of backstabbing no-talents, who'll surely not succeed on a national level.
The Swords Project: Combine all the ickiness of Pink Floyd, Sunny Day Real Estate, and Godspeed into an impenetrable wall of whining dissonance (This is atmosphere?).
Operacycle: Jazzy noodling only bearing a passing resemblance to the bands they seem determined to emulate.
Heart Beats Red: Okay, so this tired rock shit was old 5 years ago (seems destined to remain part of the lesbian scene, where it doesn't have to be good or listenable as long is it's lesbian).
Steve Kramp: This is chamomile tea drinking music? Ouch.
Holy Sons: What the fuck is this guy singing about? Agreed, great voice and all, but totally directionless.
Laurel Canyon: Who are they sleeping with? Does [sic] these guys even play in Portland?
The Prids, The Planet The, The Places: Okay, enough with the "p" names.
Dino: Poor guy getting stuck on this comp.
I was planning on giving you my scoop on the whole thing, but listening to it has given me enough of a headache already.
The Mercury responds: Hey Simon! Thanks for sending in your opinion! Remember folks, you can buy the Mercury's "Compact Disc of Sound" (featuring bands that we--but not necessarily Simon--love) for only SEVEN MEASLY BUCKS! See page 31, or check out our homepage for details!