TO THE EDITOR: I've read with some interest the letters you've received regarding Dan Savage's article about war with Iraq ["Yes to War on Iraq" October 24], and I can't help but ask, "What is the problem with these people?" I'm no fan of Bush, but it seems like the left just keeps spouting the same old rhetoric about oil and the inherent evil of the administration. Yet no one answers the hard questions: What about the women and gays who are persecuted by Hussein's regime? What about the danger of Islamic terrorists? Sure, the U.S. may have caused much of the problems in the Middle East, but doesn't that mean it's our responsibility to try and solve them? I'd like to hear a little less sarcasm and more thoughtful discussion.
KATIE SHIMER MADE ME A MILLIONAIRE!
TO KATIE SHIMER VIA VOICEMAL: "Hi Katie! My name is Marvin. I took your 'Blackjack or Bust' tips ["Let's Go Casino!" May 16] with me to Las Vegas and they worked great! So my wife decided I should call to thank you and tell you how great your story was. To hear more about how great you are, give me a call!"
I LIKE YOU, NOW REWARD ME
TO THE MERCURY: I've written you once before expressing my delight in your paper. Reading the latest issue [November 14] compels me to write again and say you (all) are the greatest!
I also want to compliment Mr. Savage for his intelligent, subtle defense of Mr. Bush's war. As one who sees clearly, speaks honestly, and is not afraid to tell it like it is, Mr. Savage is a man after my own heart!
I hope I see my name in print! I wouldn't mind winning the prize either!
ANN DOESN'T KNOW WINONA
TO ANN ROMANO: [RE: One Day at a Time, Nov 14] I know you probably think Winona Ryder was in The Scarlet Letter because you're a Hawthorne shopping, Reed College yuppie who thinks she's so in touch with what's going on that she doesn't need to check her facts, but Winona Ryder was not in The Scarlet Letter. It has nothing to do with witch hunts, but you wouldn't know that because you probably got through school by screwing your professors, and now you're trying to screw us by stating things that are not true, but you cannot screw Mr. Arthur Miller because he screws Marilyn Monroe, and why do I mention this? Because Arthur Miller wrote The Crucible which is about witch hunting and was made into a movie that Winona Ryder sucked in, so get it right because this is one professor who was not satisfied with your blowjob.
ANN ROMANO RESPONDS: Excuse me, but I went to Brown, thankyouverymuch--not Reed!
I HOLD YOU IN DISCONTEMPT
TO THE EDITOR: In the bland six months I have lived here, I have been yearning for any sort of cultural endeavor beyond drunk hillbillies racing their macheesmo fueled trucks up and down NE 122nd Ave at speeds and levels of inebriation that can only be described as retarded by any intelligent human's standards.
I admit I've been semi-reliant on your periodical in an effort to read about any kind of counter-culture happenings. But time and time again, I have put your paper down with discontempt.
With the exception of Dan Savage, the writing talent employed at the Mercury is abysmal, and obviously in dire need of style and journalistic direction. A lot of the times, your writers have the tendency to be conceided [sic]. And they also waste valuable space using the paper to indulge their own selfish endeavors instead of conveying the messages that their "pieces" have intended to be about.
In any event, the only interesting appeal of this alternative periodical is the fine art direction led by the fearless and bold Jen Davison. (I went to school with her; Sumner, class of '95. You go, girl!)
CONGRATS TO JOHN FOX for winning the Mercury "Letter of the Week!" For finding a way to use "discontempt" in a sentence, John will receive two free passes to the Laurelhurst Theater.
ENTER AND WIN!
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