MS. ROMANO: Hey! In response to your notes regarding Brazilian waxing uh-huh! ["One Day at a Time," Dec 19.] It's taken off (no pun intended) in a big way. I've been doing this sort of waxing years before there was even a name attached to it. About four years ago, I was on a flight and perusing some East Coast publication when an article on Brazilian waxing caught my eye. After reading it I told my partner, "God, there's a name for it now. It's gonna get crazy busy." It has, too. Even in li'l ol' Portland.
Owner, Retro Barbie's Warehouse
SEARCH... NOT JUMBLE!
DEAR MERCURY: Last week you ran a column entitled "Prison Lingo Word Jumble" [Dec 12]. While I am a fan of both puzzles and prison slang, I regret to inform you that the puzzle you included is clearly a word search and not a word jumble. Your gross incompetence never ceases to amaze me. Maybe the professional gambler in your feature should bet on the Mercury fucking-up every week; Odds are he'd do a lot better than breaking even.
WHY SO A.G.R.O.?
TO THE EDITOR: The article and comments in your paper written by Paul Leschen ["Last Supper," Ancient Greek: Alexis Needs A Makeover, Dec 12] was not received well by the members of the Association of Greek Restaurant Owners (A.G.R.O.) and other business associates of Portland.
Being President of A.G.R.O., the Greek Orthodox Community and a restaurant owner, I don't quite understand his remarks stating that there have not been too many Greek entrepreneurs bringing modern Greek food to America, also saying that the Greek immigration has tapered off and the cuisine has grown stale. There is no modern Greek food. Our cuisine is the same today as it was yesterday. The Greek restaurateurs who have come to this country in the past years have introduced our cuisine to the community at large. Paul knows nothing about our sauces, spices, and even our oil. In regards to the bread not being "exciting" and the hummus was "way off base," let me remind Paul that Alexis sells those very same products to all the major grocery stores in this state as well as other states. Need I say more?
The family-owned restaurant "Alexis," is always busy because it has a reputation of good food and a friendly oriented atmosphere. It's obvious when you are not knowledgeable to a particular cuisine, such as Paul; it explains why your critique of this fine restaurant was done in poor taste.
USE A THESAURUS, RETARD
TO THE EDITOR: Your writers use variations on the word "retard" constantly--Google finds it approximately 113 times on portlandmercury.com. Besides being offensive (as many people have huffily written to you), it's tedious and irritating. Anybody who's taken a writing class knows that monotonous repetition makes you sound like a high school kid, and avoiding it keeps the reader from getting bored.
Act like the "retarded" English majors you are and use a goddamn thesaurus. (Here's an easy one that does not require moving your fat asses from your seats: THESAURUS.COM) My little brother is (literally) retarded, and even he knows how to do that.
NEWSFLASH: BAND NOT CONSIDERED COOL
TO THE MERCURY: That new movie Drumline [Film, Dec 12] is filling the public with horrendous lies!! I was in band for all of my four years in high school because we were promised trips to Disneyland. But let me tell you, band was in no way for the COOL KIDS. In fact, it was for the particularly lame, nerdy, my mom-still-makes-my-lunch-for-me kids. Drumline is attempting to lure the American audience with deceitful images of "coolness" and "toughness" and some chicks shaking their asses. NO NO NO NO NO!!!
Why hasn't the Mercury realized this HORRIBLE folly and addressed the public with lightning speed??!! Now the burden is all mine and I must warn all of those naive, pathetic minds especially children, who might grow up to think band was for the hip kids. THERE WAS NOTHING HIP ABOUT THOSE LOSERS DANCING TO A PEP BAND VERSION OF BILLY JOEL'S "TELL HER ABOUT IT!!!"
Please Mercury, PLEASE get the word out! Not only does the movie blow but band is SOOOOO not cool!!!!!
Ha, ha, ha! Right you are, Lindsay! Band is for nerds! And for your courageous admission, you win the Mercury "Letter of the Week," and two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater.