TO THE EDITOR: Justin Sanders was the right choice to review The Matrix Reloaded [Film, May 15], as his analysis had the requisite lack of seriousness that I've come to expect from the Mercury. I'm occasionally struck by the irrational idea something in the paper might be worth reading. However, after reading Sanders' review I was immediately struck by a knee-jerk response to tear the paper to shreds.
How Sanders thought he could write a review without even mentioning a single plot point is the height of absurdity. No mention of Zion (the last human city), or the Merovingians, rogue programs that somehow escaped deletion. Nor did he mention there are competing interests among the programs or that Neo meets the architect of the Matrix.
As he was bashing the reappearance of Agent Smith, he never once mentioned that Smith and Neo had exchanged parts of themselves at the end of the previous film, making each part human and part machine.
Before the next review, I recommend Sanders expose himself to a little philosophy. Even reading comic books would've helped. Maybe then he'll be able to understand what does and does not make a film worth watching.
MAKING A POINT VIA RACISM
TO THE EDITOR: As the Grand Kleagle of the Oregon Ku Klux Klan I was proud to see the Mercury proclaim Mississippi as the new coolest neighborhood in Portland [Destination Fun, May 15]! Why? 'Cause it ain't black no more, thanks to our brave foot soldiers, many of whom are readers of your fine publication! We thank those that helped accomplish this, those that others may deride as "gentrifiers," those who fly Tibetan prayer flags over their bungalows, letting the porch monkey know he has been conquered, just like when we put the American flag over that camel jockey in Baghdad!
You're replacing their rib shacks with galleries, their barbershops with coffeehouses. Hell, I almost soil my robe just thinkin' about it! Don't listen to your friends who tell you buying a house in North or Northeast is economic and cultural "imperialism." They're just jealous! You know a deal when you see one! Make a shitload of money fixing up a chitlin-stinkin' crackhouse and getting rid of the jigaboos to boot!
NEWSPAPERS GONE WILD!
[EDITOR'S NOTE: This next letter comes courtesy of PCC's fine campus newspaper, also named the Mercury. It was sent to them by mistake.]
DEAR EDITOR: I picked up your May 15 issue for the first time since I've been on Portland Community's campus. I've actually heard some great things about it, and wanted to check it out. As a student majoring in writing and journalism I could not believe the contents of the Mercury. What are you people thinking I could not believe the sexually explicit ads that inundated the pages and the profanity that was littered throughout. Then, if this weren't enough to make me mad as hell, I read about the gal who was great at giving oral sex and you gave her a prize for her trashy admission [Letters, May 15]! I must admit that your choices of useful paper [sic] are giving college kids quite a comfortable gutter to fall in!
I'm usually not offended by freedoms that our framers outlined in the Constitution. In fact I think it's great that we have so many freedoms that you can actually distribute this kind of erotica to so many college campuses. But the fact that you use the power to reach and enlighten so many in this abusive, sexually explicit way makes me ashamed to be a college student.
AIN'T NO SUCH THING AS A "MEAN GAY"
TO THE "EDITOR": What were you thinking?!? Oh I forgot. You people aren't thinkers--that's the problem ["Portland's Meanest Gay" Contest, May 22]!
First, you perpetuate the objectification of homosexual people by referring to them as nouns--"Gays"--then you perpetuate the hatred (amongst many homosexual men) of what you call "breeders" and--interestingly--bisexual people.
Your "publication" is PUBLIC FILTH; pornography protected by our cherished first amendment; a purveyor of crass stereotypes; and a poor excuse for "news." Oh, and BTW: I will NEVER AGAIN offer any illustrative or cartooning services to you. ROT IN HELL.
THOUGH JEFF'S ESSAY is more than mean enough to qualify for our "Portland's Meanest Gay" contest, he neglected to send us a picture and three references, and is therefore ineligible [See page 14 for further details and enter today!]. However, we will award him two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater for winning the Mercury "Letter of the Week!" Congratulations, Jeff! Your hard work paid off!