TO THE EDITOR: Recently my favorite donut shop told me they were reviewed by your magazine ["Donut Showdown," Sept 25], and stated you gave them a score of 5.6--and in fact, nobody got over a 6! Now, hold on to your seats, because I'm shooting for the asshole, and if I find it, I'm tearing it wide open!
Who in God's holy name of donut-making was the critic? I have traveled the world eating doughnuts--Mexico, Japan, Vietnam, Korea--and I do believe we have some of the best in the world! In all your "travels" of donuts, what donut rated a 10? Where is this Holy Donut, please tell?
Annie's Donuts on Sandy makes fabulous donuts that are at least worthy of a 7-8. And this is what really chapped my heinie! VooDoo Doughnut! The only place I go for Apple Fritters, and the only place that has taken the donut to a higher level. And they got a 5.6?!?
Your little observation was biased, and performed not by a professional, but some chic-a-snoot who has never even lived the life of a donut consumer. I am ashamed of your magazine for putting out such rubbish, and think another survey or apology is in order.
THE ABC'S OF GRAFFITI
TO THE MERCURY: This letter is in response to Scott Spermman's letter in regards to graffiti ["Letters," Oct 2, and actually the writer's name is Spearman]. Scott, you and I have one thing in common: we are both artists. But one thing you don't realize is that graf art is by graffiti artists, for other graffiti artists. Most writers don't care how you feel about their expression; they just want to get up. See, in the graf culture there is a hierarchy: people who do tags (probably what you see the most), people who do pieces (bigger pieces), and people who do burners (big murals).
Doing "legal pieces" isn't what concerns most writers. They want to get up in places that are hard to get to, where lots of other people will see it. Graffiti has its own language and rules. These kids aren't interested in abstract expressionism or conceptual art that has to be explained to be understood. To them graffiti is all action, and it's very personal--usually their name or a character recognized by friends.
In Philly, a lot of those murals aren't legal, regardless of what you think. Admittedly, it's a not a good idea to hit personal property, like cars or houses, but a train yard is open territory. So to anyone who doesn't get it--FUCK OFF! You'll never understand it.
G Hambone aka Hambone One
TO SCOTT SPEARMAN: [Re: "Letters," Oct 2] 98% of graffiti is disgusting? Dude, what you don't like is called "tagging"--and yes, it's disrespectful and obnoxious, like little aerosol fartsÉ but is it ART? Is that Japanese one-continuous-stroke brush calligraphy ART? Is tagging just one little aspect of graffiti? Is it also a movement that was started in N.Y.C. by urban youth wishing to express themselves in positive ways, as opposed to gang violence? Isn't spray-can technique really hard to master? Aren't there tons of amazing graffiti murals all over the world, including an ever-changing one on our very own Belmont?
I AM DONUT!
TO THE EDITOR: I just got done reading your article ["Donut Showdown," Sept 25, and yes, this is by the same guy who wrote the other donut letter] and it is worse than I thought. Cheryl from Pix Patisserie? Scott from La Puca? WillÉ maybe. GeoffÉhard partier? Wendy, a Krusty Kreme fan? These are your DONUT EXPERTS?
PLEASE! WHERE'S BOB THE IRON WORKER? WHERE'S LABRONSKI THE COP? WHERE IS HERMAN NERDVIS YOUR NETWORK ADMINISTRATOR? AND WHERE THE FUCK IS THE "10" POINT DONUT?
You call yourselves donut experts? YOU EAT PLAIN DONUTS. WHO THE FUCK EATS PLAIN DONUTS!?!? You had one donut from each shop, ONE DONUT, and call it a contest? This is ridiculous. I AM DONUT! I LIVE DONUTS, so therefore I SHIT DONUTS!
Krusty Kreme is a fad. The glaze drips all over the place, they taste like plain ol' Fred Meyer donuts, and those people who get them are not donut worshipers--but bandwagon fad jumpers. Fuckin yups! Next time you pry into the working man's life and talk about our food, pick us to do the analysis.
JESUS CHRIST, JT! Anybody who lives, eats, and shits donuts as much as you deserves to win the Mercury "LetterÉ or in this caseÉ Letters of the Week!" You'll receive two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater, along with a potpourri of fabbo prizes! (But no more donuts for youÉ you've had enough.)