TO WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY: I picked up a copy of your paper recently, and was impressed--though not favorably. In one place you comment that Christianity is a "fucked up religion" [Film, Passion of the Christ review, Feb 26].
Christ was flogged and beaten and spit upon so that you would not have to endure the flames of hell. No man took His life from Him... [Since we're certain you've heard this clap-trap many times before, let's skip down a bit. --Editor]
What is the end of those who refuse the love of the God who died? They must love torment and enjoy being punished. Hell is said to have fire and brimstone. Brimstone is melted sulfur, and sulfur melts at about 400 degrees Fahrenheit. There is no water in hell, nor anything to drink to quench a person's thirst. It is a place of misery without end.
I am going to send you several Jack Chick tracts over the next few months. Please take the time to read each one, and consider the message. God bless you.
A Christian friend
SUICIDE AND RELIGION: NOT FUNNY!
TO ANN ROMANO: This email is in response to some of your personal and, in my eyes, rude opinions ["One Day at a Time," March 4, in which Ann bemoans the number of Oscars won by Lord of the Rings].
The first comment I didn't agree with, is where you said "Best reason to consider killing yourself after sitting through an insufferably long three-hour movie--Lord of the Rings." I know a lot of people think the Ring movies are long and tedious, but joking you would kill yourself is not something I find funny. Most people consider suicide a joke, because they've never had to deal with its consequences. I would think a writer, of all people, would be more sensitive.
The second comment I didn't agree with is "Best adaptation from a stupid fairy-tale (other than Passion of the Christ)--Lord of the Rings." It isn't that you said Lord of the Rings is a stupid fairy-tale, you implied that the Bible is a stupid fairy-tale. I know this is a free country, but again, you seem to be oblivious to other people's feelings. Christ's story is rather hard to believe, I must admit. But if you could be kind enough not to call a religion "stupid," that would help a great deal.
I'm sorry if I seem rude. Maybe you were having a bad day, or just weren't thinking. Whatever the reason, I hope that you are feeling more peaceful at heart.
CURB YOUR CRITTER; GET A SITTER
TO THE EDITOR: I liked Katie Shimer's comments regarding parents and their children in her recent article on brew pubs ["Last Supper," Feb 26]. The couple who wrote in complaining that Katie "shouldn't breed" if she doesn't like children running loose in restaurants are curiously belligerent ["Letters," March 4]. I own a restaurant and I'm a parent. I love to have children come in with their parents. But we are not a day care provider and I would never impose that responsibility on my employees or other guests. Restaurants are dangerous places where fast moving waiters carry very hot things. Children playing away from their table are in the way and a risk to the safety of not only themselves but my employees.
The writer of the letter states that "parents deserve breaks too." That does not mean, however that a restaurant will or should provide that service. They should get a babysitter. Considering the rabid tone of the letter, it seems this couple might have other issues to resolve requiring more than just a "refreshing beer" in a "family-based" brew pub.
Sean Brown, No Fish! Go Fish!
BITE IT, BRITNEY-LOVER!
TO THE EDITOR: In response to brick itt ["Letters," March 11, in which the writer wishes death upon the winner of the Mercury's Britney Spears tickets give-away]: I am the winner of the Britney prize package, and YES, I hate Britney. But I must tell you, you're right! I didn't deserve those tickets. I did however deserve the big fat wad of cash I got in trade for those tickets. I sold them to somebody just like you--except they had money. Quit your bitching and grow up! Next time you want to see Britney, or some other manufactured pop embarrassment, remember to get your teeny ass a job so you can buy your own ticket!
THOUGH OUR HEARTS WEEP FOR YOUR SIN, JENNIFER, you nevertheless win the Mercury "Letter of the Week" which includes two passes to the Laurelhurst Theater, two tickets to see Audio Learning Center at Dante's on Friday, April 2, and a Jack Chick tract. We hope it leads to your eventual salvation.