TO THE MERCURY: 9/11 was an inside job. Yes, it was a conspiracy, but it's not just a theory.
Bush's neo-cons have a dangerously specific political agenda of global imperialism. They used 9/11 as the perfect pretext to enact their plan for world domination. Please, just do some research! You will find out that a 757 did not hit the Pentagon, that the WTC buildings came down because they were loaded with explosives, and that Flight 93 was shot down by the U.S. military.
Why were military jets not scrambled until AFTER the attacks? Why did "President" Bush go on with a photo-op at a grade school when he knew the first tower had already been hit? Why have several of the supposed hijackers actually been found alive and well in the Middle East?
Wake up, voters!! This government is the most corrupt in the world.
The Mercury responds: Thanks, Pixie, but you've only scratched the tip of this conspiracy iceberg! There's a very good reason the Bush administration won't find Osama bin Laden--because he's hiding in an underground military complex built beneath Dick Cheney's Malibu pool house! And that's not all you'll find there, either--seen Sasquatch lately? No! You haven't! Because he and Cher (yes! CHER!) have been planning a synchronized attack on every Krispy Kreme outlet in Duluth, Minnesota. Why? Because the REAL mastermind behind 9/11 HATES doughnuts--former REPUBLICAN representative SONNY BONO. Who isn't as "dead" as we originally thought!
In related news, if you're a friend or family member of Pixie's, please call her doctor. She's evidently gone off her medication.
BACK TO SUNDAY SCHOOL
TO THE MERCURY: Regarding your last counterpoint in your "Just Say NO to 36" issue ["Point/Counterpoint," Oct 7]. You state that "you should flog your neighbor if he's caught working on Sunday." That's not what it states in Exodus 35:2. The King James version says, in reference to the Sabbath, that "whosoever doeth work therein SHALL BE PUT TO DEATH." Get it right, you fucking heathens!
GAY PEOPLE REALLY WANT IT
DEAR EDITOR: In a July 9th op-ed for USA Today, Senator Rick Santorum wrote, "There is an ocean of empirical data showing that the union between a man and a woman has unique benefits for children and society."
One thing Santorum seems to miss is that, when it comes to having children, gay and lesbian couples will never have an accidental pregnancy like straight couples do. Precisely because they can't have children "the traditional way," gay and lesbian couples that want children have to make the choice deliberately. And then, in the vast majority of cases, they go through an extremely difficult adoption process.
Anybody who has adopted a child can tell you that it's expensive, massively bureaucratic, and emotionally draining. The paperwork alone is mind-boggling. Clearly, this is not for anybody who isn't 100% committed to having a child.
If I was to make a sweeping generalization here--and opponents to gay marriage seem to have no problem making sweeping generalizations--I would conclude that gay and lesbian parents as a whole population might actually end up being better-suited to parenthood precisely because they have to choose it, fight for it, and really, really want it. And that's probably the best thing any child could hope for.
SHAKESPEARE IN SPACE
DEAR WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY: I was eagerly anticipating reading the Mercury's review of King Lear at Portland Center Stage last week [Theater, Oct 14]. But despite two separate write-ups within the issue, neither mentioned that Thom Christopher (Lear) was Hawk on Buck Rogers in the 25th Century. Not lame-ass Avery Books (Hawk on Spenser for Hire), but the guy with the feather skullcap and the spaceship shaped like an actual hawk.
Worsening this glaring omission is the fact that Gretchen Corbett (Regan) was Jim Rockford's lawyer, Beth Davenport, on The Rockford Files. Jim Rockford's attorney and Buck Rogers' non-robotic sidekick live on stage performing Shakespeare, and the Mercury says nothing about it?
What would it take to get your attention? Sonny Shroyer (Enos) and Jan Smithers (Bailey Quarters) as Anthony and Cleopatra?
CONGRATS TO MIKE for winning the Mercury "Letter of the Week!" For noting our shameless omission, Mike will receive two passes to the Laurelhurst Theater and two tickets to see Malevolence, the new super spooky serial killer flick.