DEAR MERCURY: It's with great sadness I read your article on Basic Rights of Oregon and the ACLU giving up most of their fight against the gay marriage ban [News, "Separate and Unequal," Nov 25]. BRO needs to fight this discriminatory, ignorant amendment, and yet they seem to be crawling away with their tails between their legs.
I applaud the Defense of Marriage Coalition, not for what they're fighting for, but for the strength with which they're doing it. Perhaps BRO needs to take a page out of their book. Now, more than ever, Oregonians should question if BRO has any fight left in them.
TO THE MERCURY: I'm a Juggalo in Knoxville TN and I think your Insane Clown Posse story sucked ["The World of the Juggalo," Nov 25]. You're just another mainstream bitch that doesn't understand us. People like you need to go back to your little shitty house with your little shitty college degree and listen to your shitty mainstream radio stations. Juggalos don't need your lame-ass newspaper. We're underground and we like it that way. If you think I'm some little kid, well, guess again--I'm 27. I have a nice house, two cars, and bring home 40 grand a year. So in the words of Shaggy 2 Dope: Fuck Off!!!!
WHAT'S A "TAWAIT"?
TO THE MERCURY: [Original spelling and grammar have been left uncorrected to preserve the hilarity of this letter. --editor] LIstin and learn don't you think your going to know what a Juggalo is in one night you assholes a dumb kids commericalism please go back to your second rate paper and eat a big pile of shit you tawaits wouldn't know what it means to write a good article you stink and your paper is coursed the people that wrote the aritcle on the ICP is crused now always and forever for eternity you will be horabley cursed you and yours now and your future genarations HEX ME you just fucked up you read it haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa HEX ME HEX ME ok your HEXED ass holessssssss your paper hexed all who works for this paper Hexed so there happy next time don't fuck with the clowns bitchhhhhhhhh.
OH, GO KILL YOURSELF
TO THE EDITOR: This is for Jayne K. Curtis, the fascist imbecile ["Letters," Nov 25]. How dare you threaten to hang us "Communist, liberal traitor types"? This country was founded on the freedom of speech. How can you threaten those whose minds aren't controlled by the religious right? Dan Savage makes a valid point in saying that rural inbred fucks--such as you--have ruined this country ["Better Dead than Red," Nov 11]. Why don't you follow your Fuehrer and blow your fucking brains out? The world doesn't need you! Don't forget, 48% of this country still believes in our revolution. Fascists, you are on notice--don't push us, we won't stand for it!
Comrade Keith Weyrauch
BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO
TO THE EDITOR: That's it Mercury. Fuck you. You have officially lost me as a reader. I know you're all fun and games, but I just can't party with your blindness, pettiness, and cowardice anymore.
Your loyal readers have been calling people like me, who know the meaning of the word progressive, a bunch of pacifist cowards. Now, I oppose your vengeful war on the red states ["Better Dead than Red," Nov 11] as much as I oppose the manufactured war in Iraq, but I am no pacifist. I believe in bravery, honor, and fighting for what you believe in.
I also believe that blame, hatred, and self-supremacy are all forms of weakness. Now that you have shown me how weak you are, I can no longer support your paper.
I'm not lamenting the fact that we don't always agree. I LIKE that we don't always agree. But if you seemed like you were TRYING to not just FUCK SHIT UP, I wouldn't be writing this letter. So, I know you can do better. If and when you do, email me back and I'll resume my readership. Until then, fuck you. I'm not putting up with your bullshit.
TO OUR READERS: We agree that Lizo should stop reading our paper. In fact, we have issued a restraining order that physically bars her from ever picking up the Mercury again. If anyone sees Lizo within 100 yards of any Mercury newspaper, please contact our office immediately so we can begin legal proceedings. In the meantime...
CONGRATS LIZO! You just won the Mercury "Letter of the Week," which includes two tickets to the Laurelhurst as well as two passes to see The Accused at Dante's on Thursday December 30th. Now put down this paper or we'll see you in court.