HELLO CRACKHEADS: Could I suggest that your music writers try using a word other than "seminal" to describe influential bands? Just like labeling everyone on earth who disagrees with US policies a "terrorist," or calling every new idea a "paradigm shift," overuse of clever-sounding words just renders them meaningless. Try smoking some pot or using a thesaurus. Geez!
WHO DIED AND MADE YOU FASHION POLICE?
DEAR MERCURY: Your choice of using fashion designer Adam Arnold for your "Employee Picks" [Jan 6] was a bad move. Here's why: First off, Adam, you live in Portland. Saying that "little striped polo shirts" and "high-water Rustlers" and "cute little animal hats" are a fashion "don't" is like living in a wooden shack and hating overalls. Secondly you're a bad stereotype that needs to be put to sleep with your, "I'm a boring looking British dude and I talk with a lisp" act. What's more is designers think that just because they have the inside scoop on Nordstrom's spring line, they can run around telling everyone how to dress. Take your ass back to your fat momma in Montana and go back to criticizing Britney Spears.
THE KITTY FILM COMMITTEE
TO THE EDITOR: Perhaps it would be feasible to employ an individual to write film reviews who has a modicum of education in film history; an appreciation of masterworks by filmmakers such as Buneuel, Fellini, Visconti, Truffaut, Godard, etc.; and some concept as to the cultural/political/social context within which films were created.
The person you have inflicted on us as a "reviewer" of That Obscure Object of Desire [Charles Mudede, Film, Dec 30] brings none of these attributes to the turgid whining he perhaps believes can pass as film criticism. It is as if you had sent your cat to review an exhibition of paintings by Manet or Dali (with whom Buneuel collaborated on some surrealistic short films that remain masterworks).
Oh, hell, why bother trying to show your reviewer this information? Send in your cat. At least the cat never turned away from the basic elements of the Western canon, whether in art, literature or film.
A HIPPIE THAT DOESN'T SMELL?
TO THE EDITOR: This is in response to "20 Things Not Invited Back to 2005" [Dec 30]. You stated something along the lines of "now that we've gotten rid of most of the stinking hippies... blah blah." Well, what is wrong with hippies? They are perfectly fine people, not all of them smell. They are super nice and will share a joint anytime. I'm a hippie. I don't think marijuana is going to save the world, but shit--it's relaxing. I don't smell; I take showers. I keep my long hair brushed. And Hawthorne is a beautiful place, with beautiful people. Remember that hippies were some of the first to really speak out against the government. Sure, they screwed up the chance at revolution, but it doesn't look like you are making much of a difference.
A Concerned Hippie
MY RECYCLING BIN GOT YOINKED
HEY MERCURY: I like homeless people. I talk to them, I say prayers for them on particularly nasty nights, I even buy a Street Roots now and again. But it's getting harder for me to have a heart for them when they keep stealing my fucking recycling bins! Last week, not only were both bins taken, but the garbage can was yoinked, too. The can and one of the bins found their way home, but then last night my remaining poor lonely bin got stolen again! Aiya!
I'm a trusting person, and would rather believe in the good in people rather than having to take protective measures to secure my shit--especially something as meaningless as my garbage containers. I don't even live in a bad neighborhood! But now the war is officially ON! I'll sit on my porch all night with a pellet gun if I have to! Would you guys mind lending a brain cell or three to help me figure out a creative way to keep this from happening again? Thanks!
TIM: WHILE WE'RE RELUCTANT to get directly involved with your plight, the Mercury does feel it is our responsibility to act as "mediators" between warring factions within our community. Therefore… Homeless people? Tim feels hurt and devalued when you "yoink" his recycling bin. But perhaps there's a perfectly good reason for the yoinking. Please write in and let us know if, and why, you yoink. Meanwhile, congrats to Tim for winning the Mercury "Letter of the Week," which includes two tix to the Laurelhurst and two passes to see The Explosion at Meow Meow on January 25. Yoinks! What a prize!